Editorials

New Year Cheer

Dec 31, 2008 - Comments: 2

as an end-of-the-year gift, how about i spare everyone, myself included, my perorations, divigations, indulgences, absurdities, non-sequiturs, and shrewd incisive commentaries to just thank everyone who actually seems to read these columns and, even more frightening, enjoy them ..... you know who you are ..... in lieu of all that, i wish each and every one a very

happy new year .....

next year: dr. pete will make sense

Christmas

Dec 24, 2008 - Comments: 1

i wish you the most wonderful Christmas
and
the most wonderfullest
New Year

xxxxxx

dr. pete

A Christmas Carol

Dec 21, 2008 - Comments: 2

franklin delano roosevelt was paralyzed from polio; it was a rare photograph that would show Roosevelt trying to walk—an image that the press, for reasons of tact, and the president, for reasons of strategy and pride, never drew attention to ..... the same does not hold true for today's press or bush, who is often shown trying to talk, and yet he has never spoken a truthful word or made any sense to any creature slightly smarter than a planarium .....

Christmas Balls

Dec 17, 2008 - Comments: 1

it was the summer of 1965 and i was hitch-hiking from stockholm, sweden to greece .... carrying a guitar case in one hand, i worked my way down to italy; i hopped a ferry in brindisi and sailed across to piraeus harbor outside of athens, where i took an underground to the ammonia square in the center of athens .... my eyes started to burn and water as i started walking out of the underground station; no wonder it's called ammonia square, i thought to myself--it smells just like ammonia ....

Black Friday .... Was That A Steely Dan Song?

Dec 04, 2008 - Comments: 0

well, we made it through thanksgiving; how was yours? mine was nice: rose champagne and my world famous stuffing and good company and i was thankful that i wasn't in iraq or afghanimastan even though we're winning (on odd days of the week,) the world is better off without that tyrant what's-his-name and now it's december already; i knew we were getting close when christmas ornaments appeared in my local drugstore back in july ....

No Truth And No Consequences

Nov 22, 2008 - Comments: 0

the boys will be four years old in a month and a half and it's past the time that they started learning that actions have consequences .... these are important lessons: you create your moral compass when you learn, for example, that setting fire to the cat and cornholing the dog is not socially acceptable--unless you're a republican, in which case it's encouraged, as is necrophilia ....

Yo! Mama!

Nov 13, 2008 - Comments: 0

nrgghghghghghhhnnnnnn .... nnnnnnnn ..... nnnrgggghhhhhhargargaarggggggggggggg ..... nnngngngngngngngnngggggnnnnnnnnn ...... snort ......

that's the sound of a bear, coming out of hibernation .... that's about the sound i made, pushing aside the dust bunnies and coming out from underneath my bed, knowing that the election was over and that .... ha ha ..... obama won .......

The Great Erection

Nov 03, 2008 - Comments: 0

wake me when it's over .... are we done yet? can i come out from underneath the bed? guess we'll know about the national erection's results tomorrow, although the "media" likes to announce outcomes early: that short american attention span, you know .... if this is what it takes to have a great erection it's no wonder that viagra's so popular with white american males: we've been in the process for what? two years now?

Shoulder To The Wheel .....

Oct 29, 2008 - Comments: 0

i haven't written for a couple of weeks .... did you notice? part of that's been our spin in an ever-widening gyre of absurdity, preposterosity, anusness, and moral rectumtude, all of it fecaliferous, whether i write or not .... i'm about at the point where i just can't summon the self-righteous indignation i need, or call upon the genetic coding that predisposes me to occupying the moral high ground, that's carried me through all the republican administrations and imperial wars of the past .....

Shoulder The Burden

Oct 13, 2008 - Comments: 0

i'd written a lot and wanted to write more, but it was all fragmented and chaotic .... i've been distracted, and not just because of the sheer weight of the toxic absurdities littering our political landscape .... i just haven't the strength or resolve to cite them, chapter and verse, so i'll just let it go at that .....

anyway, i'll be down for a couple of weeks or more, with one arm neatly wrapped in a sling, recuperating from shoulder surgery ....

guess i won't be doing windmills for a while ....

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