Shoulder To The Wheel .....

i haven't written for a couple of weeks .... did you notice? part of that's been our spin in an ever-widening gyre of absurdity, preposterosity, anusness, and moral rectumtude, all of it fecaliferous, whether i write or not .... i'm about at the point where i just can't summon the self-righteous indignation i need, or call upon the genetic coding that predisposes me to occupying the moral high ground, that's carried me through all the republican administrations and imperial wars of the past ..... part's been that i had shoulder surgery and my arm was--i know; usually it's my ass--in a sling but .... two weeks after surgery i'm pretty much out of the sling; still, i can't quite get my right arm around behind me to perform the minimal perineal hygiene so necessary in today's polite society--heavily reliant as it is on ass-kissing--nor dare i put it over an acoustic guitar, and as for bicycling ....

i think i'll wait another couple of weeks ....

i don't know about you, but won't it be a relief when this "election" is over? sure, there's the schadenfreude of watching the republican reich implode, while their craven constituents turn on one another in a frenzied bloodlust of blame, of snapping, back-biting, butt chewing; slobbering, foaming, drooling; voiding their bowels and bladders while flailing away at their tiny little ..... well, shit; that's about normal for 'em anyway; i can hardly tell the difference ..... still, i'm repugnificated at the incessant din, the never-ending clamor, the ceaseless hystrionic shrieking of the "media ...." clearly, when you broadcast "news" 'round-the-clock it comes as no surprise that most of what's broadcast hardly constitutes news; it's just more fucking noise ..... still, there's something i don't understand, and that's the eagerness with which peeple subject themselves to this shrieking sonic pule .... in my convalescent hospital room i marvelled as my "roommate" turned on the television and watched the hospital information channel, over and over and over again .... what drugs was he taking? i wasn't getting anything like that .... a few days ago i went to my gym to ride the stationary bike; the next person that came in made a beeline to the television and turned it on ..... i couldn't handle .... well .... ha ha .... i can never handle it but ..... i couldn't handle the "OBAMATHIS!" ...."MCCAIN THAT!!!! .... OBAMAMAMA! ..... MCAINCAINCAINCAINCAIN!" and i asked him to kindly turn it off .... "oh," he said; "how about i turn the sound down and just watch it?" you can't escape this sensory onslaught; i'll bet your gas station's put tv screens up on the pumps .... you know what i do?

cans of black spray paint .....

did you hear my "ballad of sarah palin?" here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rylvlSSM5aU but .... as brilliant as it is (if i do say so myself, and obviously i do because i must ..... our relationship relies on the truth, and the truth must be told) i think that this one line describes the appalling nature of our body politic; the effrontery of the republicans in their choice of candidate; their staggering lack of any qualifications for international office; the blatant insult of republicans offering as candidates creatures not qualified to be breed stock on a sheep ranch--like the american sheeple really give a shit .... and that line is:

this vice-presidential hopeful lost a swimsuit competition ......

jesus .... can't we even have a vice-president who won a swimsuit competition?

and hey, howzabout that 700 billion bucks that's gone into wall street? i sure do like the way there's a level playing field out there, how the invisible hand of the market's just given us all the finger, how--without even snapping on a wrinkled rubber glove--that invisible hand went way way far up our collective back passage and clamped the vice grips on our collective prostate .... you know, that money was to loosen up lending but ... ha ha .... it doesn't seem to be working out that way .... i know you're surprised to hear that the big player banks are dipping into the taxpayers' slush fund so they can buy up lesser banks; the idea of lending money out is no longer part of the equation--as if it ever were ..... mission accomplished, indeed: the further centralization of power and wealth, facilitated by your friendly government ..... oh, that's spreading the wealth around, all right, with back hoes and manure shovels ..... and speakin' of ho's, i keep hearing how obama's "a socialist ...." that's what one of my surgeons--who otherwise seemed to be capable and intelligent--said to me .... i was at a loss as to how to respond, especially as he was pulling tubes out of my arm at the time .... but i thought of saying, you need more money, you fucking whore? you need a new fucking mercedes? you're already bargaining, cents on the dollar, to the insurance company, but that doesn't seem to be a problem for you .... and maybe i missed something but .... what's wrong with socialism? scandinavians been doin' it for a reel long time 'n' they seem to be doin' okay .... oh .... whussat? you gotta wait a long time to see a dokter? thank god we get immediate medical attention; like, one of my boys's got sinus troubles and the earliest i can get him in to see a pediatric ear/nose/throat doc is the middle of january ....

and i made the appointment two weeks ago .....

what about that "obama wants to spread the wealth around" lede? let's just say you're living in a fucking trailer eating three-day-old possum steaks and you don't want a little wealth spread your way? is this what drove cretins to vote for eight years of bush? the american peeople and the republican party, it's like the dynamics of spousal abuse, with the abused spouse returning to the abuser, over and over and over again: busted muh union, lost muh job, closed down muh factory; don't got no health care, got evicted frum muh house; whut littul savin's ah had gawn dun disappeared; took muh boy 'n' got his haid blowed off in ganimastan but .... ah'd shore lahk tuh have a beer wit' him hees just a reg'lar guy jus' lahk me as stewpid as a bag fulla hammers 'n' ah jus' know hees gawna change 'n' ah cain't buh-leeve we gawn let a darky in the whaht house 'n' gawd bless amurka ......

even as my capacity for outrage has been stultified and blunted, i''m still stupamafacted at how effectively americans have been assiduously and deliberately disinformed .... i have neither the time nor the energy to trace the proliferation of think tanks and the co-opting of "the media," but .... is the question why we're not teaching "intelligent design" in [public] schools? or is the question why the united states is 25th in math and 29th in science, world-wide? are the answers to global climate change (assuming you actually believe that there is such a thing) going to be found in the bible? i'm sure reading the bible will make us effective competitors with the indians and the chinese and the taiwanese and all those little heathens over there who just seem to be kicking our financial butt although ha ha we sure pulled the pin on the global economy didn't we so fuck 'em we're number one we're number one .....

as the global economy collapsed on itself we were inundated with the catch-phrases "meltdown;" "greedy brokers;" "interdependent markets;" "yada yada yada yada ...." but i didn't see a whole lot of coverage or discussion given to the phenomenon of global looting and impoverishment as a direct result of the deliberate deregulation of the market along with the dismantling of any possible overesight mechanisms, resulting in .... well, ha ha .... how many times can a fiscal philosophy be discredited before it's discarded?

probably about as many times as you can watch the democrats continue the funding of illegal and immoral invasions of sovereign nations, while republicans--under the aegis of fiscal responsibility--advocate more permanent tax cuts for corporations simultaneous with funding illegal immoral etc. etc. yada yada etc. yada etc. etc. .....

i'd sure like to encounter some of that demon liberal media, i really would .... i can't count how many evangelicals or representatives of the brookings institute i've heard on n[auseating] p[uerile] r[epugnant] in the last week .... today i heard nancy pelosi say how sorry she was that she'd been unable to pass legislation that would "bring the troops home," but i didn't hear anyone ask her why she'd continued funding for this war, nor was she asked why she'd taken impeachment proceedings against george bush "off the table ...." i ..... i ..... i ..... i ..... ay yi yi yi ..... yi yi yi ya ya .......

etc. etc. etc. ......

and i'm tired of hearing these assholes legitimatized with the cute phrase "pro-life ...." i guess that makes me "pro-death?" if they're against abortions they shouldn't have one; the people most opposed to abortions are the people you least want to fuck in the first place; if you're pre-birth, you're fine; if you're pre-schoo, you're fucked .... and that string of pearls is from george carlin ....

i'd like to hear once, just once, someone in the media characterizing these worm-eating wombats as "anti-woman ....." just once, just once before i shuffle off this mortal coil, hand in my lunchbucket, cash in my chips, buy the farm and .....

experience the rapture .....

next: dr. pete scratches his butt .......

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

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