Let Them Eat KaKa

so me 'n' pooty the magic pony was out in the pasture, just cropping the clover, when he suddenly started puking blood and i thought, ground glass in the sugar cubes? but pooty set me clear rilly fast; spain, said pooty, is investigating whether alberto gonzales, that cretinous toadfucking tool of george bush as .... ha ha .... attorney general ..... is liable for prosecution under international law for his part in aiding and abetting the "legalities" by which the united states kidnapped people in countries around the world, carried them to different parts of the world where they were tortured because, well, if we weren't going to do it ourselves, well then .... we'd outsource it ..... the spanish are also looking to issue warrants for the prosecution of john yoo and douglas feith; i didn't see jay bybee's name, but i hope they'll get around to him ....

jesus; we can't even do all our dirty work ourself; when we want to torture people we have to outsource it .....

but pooty said, you know what makes me sick? what makes me chorf esophageal blood is not that the spanish are doing this; shit, after all, they went after and got pinochet, america's great friend and ally, the great friend of democracy who disappeared 3,000 people; incarcerated 80,000 without charges, and tortured 30,000 people; what makes me whorble and spew is that we haven't done anything that'd affirm anything more than mere lip service to "the rule of law;" there are no charges brought against george bush; no charges brought against donny rumsfeld; no one in the united states has charged paul wolfotitz or paul bremer; dick cheney is still slobbering all over his shirtfront, blithe and carefree, and not even from a secret secure location; three enlisted soldiers got prison time for the abu ghraib debacle; it went no higher, but don't give me that "a few bad apples in the bunch" bullshit; we all know goddamn well that torturing "prisoners" started at the very top and no one gives a shit, even though it's poisoned the world against the united states--a democratic president gets his willie wet and that's grounds for impeachment, but mass murder and torture, that's a ho-hum yawn-off; that's what makes me sick, said pooty, as his gloss flanks shivered yet again under another paroxysm of gagging and retching ....

and i thought, as i danced between the droplets of barely digested clover, gosh, pooty--being a magic pony and all--has got a point here, you know? i mean, you don't have to be a magic pony to see the fundamental disconnect between rhetoric and reality, the dissonance between "we're a nation of the rule of law" and "do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" and whoever would have thought that the united states of america'd become an acolyte of aleistair crowley? who also said "if one were to take the bible seriously one would go mad .... but to take the bible seriously, one must be already mad" which is a pretty telling commentary on a nation where 68% of the people believe the bible to be the literal word of god but then they also believe what they read or hear in the "media" especially when it's about "celebs" and who's got a tummy tuck and who flashed their beaver and who's getting a divorce and who's heartbroken like these shitheads were real people that gave a fuck about anyone else and .....

don't get me started on media betrayals, pooty said; i'm tottering on the brink of needing a transfusion, right now ..... and i may not need more blood right now, pooty said, but we sure have the need for liability and responsibility: in the media; the citizenry; in our bleak political landscape; the lack of responsibility extends from the debacle in iraq to the fiasco in afghanistan to the "economic meltdown," but .... ha ha ...... but it's not like this pillaging and plundering and looting and hooting were systemic and systematic, for goodness sake .... it's not anybody's fault, other than maybe just a few bad apples .....

george tenet, tommy franks, and l. paul bremer, parties responsible for our illegal immoral unilateral invasion of a sovereign nation that posed us no threat whatsoever (in the future i'll just abbreviate this as "IIUIOASNTPUNTW") got their contributions to chaos, murder, and idiocy recognized when bush awarded them the presidential medal of freedom .... AIG recognized the contribution of its employees who totalled the world economy by giving them "retention bonuses ....." there seems to be a pattern here, and i don't think it's one that any self-respecting parent would approve of: "honey? junior just set fire to the cat and cornholed the dog .... what say we take him out to mcdonald's and get him a feedbag fulla bacon grease and chocolate?"

i keep hearing n[utless] p[ickled] r[utabagas] doing show after show about "how shall republicans get it back together?' or something like that .... that's kind of like running shows on "how can germany's national socialist party regain respect" ..... how about doing a show on "how republicans should commit hara-kiri with a dull fucking butter knife as partial atonement for their multitudinous sins;" who gives a fuck? WHY ARE WE LISTENING TO THESE DICKWITS? they fucked the country for thirty fucking years; caused endless fucking scandals: iran/contra; savings and loan; yada yada yada yada; bankupt the country; lie us into war, culminating in the nomination of john mccain and sarah palin while "permanent tax cuts" is the best they can come up with?

i'm sorry, but fuck you all incredibly much, and right in your fucking mouth, and that goes for the media for promulgating this offensive fucking nonsense; no, i don't give a fuck what sarah palin's wearing or what that moron has to say or who does her hair, no, people who have been proven wrong time and time again do not deserve to be heard from, and no, i DON'T KNOW WHO JEN IS AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! one thing you can say for the republicans--other than they're being shit-eating fear-mongering cretinous bags of fartwind--is that they hang together; okay, maybe it's because no one else can tolerate them, but they presented a united front as they pushed their agendas ... okay; maybe there's something to be said for being cloned from snakeshit, but you can't say that for democrats: the most you can say about democrats is that they're hatched from rotten eggs and cloned from chickenshit .....

gee, dr. pete, pooty said; why would you say that?

well, pooty, i said; i'm glad you asked ..... democrats don't vote together; some say that it's because they're "voting their conscience;" some say it's because they're the "party of individuality;" some say that trying to get democrats to work together is like "trying to herd cats ....." here's what i say: they don't vote their conscience because they have none; it's not the party of individuals--it's the party of back-stabbing self-serving posturing self-righteous shitheads and, as for the cat metaphor, fuck them; they're just pussies .... listen up, you scabby, clapped-out, mange-ridden fucking donkeys that need a botticide douche: don't give me this bullshit about how you won't vote the obama budget because you can't condone creating a deficit: you didn't give fuck one about deficit spending when you were tripping over your flaccid little dicks, lining up to be reamed by dick cheney while shoving blank checks into george bush's hands; you didn't give fuck one about fiscal responsibility when you condoned back-channel budgeting for the pentagon, billions of dollars that'll never appear on the books; you didn't give fuck one about tax payer's money when eight billion in cash evaporated in iraq ......

here's the deal: barack obama, a democrat, is the president of the united states; he won the presidential election because people were fed out the ass with george bush and his bullshit; he was elected because he "offered people 'change,'" and i'm not going to start equivocating on that right now; you're democrats, how about this for a change: how about you back your president .... you're democrats; you're the party that swept the polls; you're democrats; do what americans want you to do--back your fucking president .... don't give me this bullshit about how you've got to "safeguard your interests in the upcoming elections;" you're elected, you're in office right now, you're there to do a fucking job, not to win popularity contests, not to be miss congeniality, not to prance around like a dithering shit wearing a skimpy swimsuit; winning an election in the future, that's NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB! your job is to BE A DEMOCRAT! do your job and DO IT NOW!

the fact that there's no payback for these craven eaters of liquid fuck is part and parcel of the whole "there is no responsibility" routine .... like that wrinkled old wombat scrotum, joe liebermann; did he get thrown out of the democratic party for endorsing wattle-faced mccain? fuck, no; did we see him hanging upside down in a gas station, like mussolini? no, we didn't ..... see anyone from halliburton getting indicted? anyone from morgan stanley chase manhattan citigroup bank of america getting anything other than more money from you and me? i read a lot of shit in the "media;" this week's hot phrase is "populist anger:" ooooooo ..... the people are so angry ..... eeeeeee .... the president is so angry ...... nrghghghghghghgh ...... angry! angry! angry!" what a load of codswallop: people aren't fucking angry--they're worried about jen or about the latest teen that's disappeared or where they can get more coupons for shopping ..... if they were angry they'd be in the fucking streets, manning the barricades, shrieking LET THEM EAT CAKE! LET THEM EAT KAKA! KAAAAAA KAAAAAAAAAA KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG!

pooty used one fetlock to wipe my fevered brow and, with a dainty trotter, took my pulse; a magic pony can do that, you know ..... dr. pete, pooty said; you're overwrought; perhaps you ought to have a sugar cube? chill out a little?

next: one mint julep was the cause of it all

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

1 Comment

Ess Kargo says:

I'd so like to get this animated....

Submitted by Ess Kargo on Tue, 07/15/2014 - 16:14

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