The Triumph of the American Way

here are your lessons in contemporary repulbican realities ..... you thought black was black and white was white/but that's wrong that just ain't right/you don't know what you think you know/this bullshit is from below:

i see that most americans are making less this year than they did last year and, even though prices are rising while their wages aren't, you know what that means?

that means that the economy is doing better ....

hey, only 12,358 people were killed in the last thirteen minutes and 42 seconds in iraq; thirteen were islamo-fascits, seven were islamic militants, three were insurgents, and four-hundred-eighteen were second in command of "al quaeda in iraq" .... you know what that means? .... it means that, after six years, we're finally getting control of the situation and we only need to stay there another ten years for the oil companies to secure their profits and the true fruits of democracy to drop, ripe and golden and juicy, into the lap of the one iraqi still livng .....

too bad her jaw has been shot away and she can't eat, but hey ..... stiff upper lip, bitch .....

the knee jerk crimes reports that "Over the past six weeks, the Taliban have driven government forces out of roughly half of a strategic area in southern Afghanistan that American and NATO officials declared a success story last fall in their campaign to clear out insurgents and make way for development programs, Afghan officials say."

and afghanistan now produces 97% of the world's opium, which means we have successfully defeated the taliban, whom we helped to grow better opium in the first place, and that means our development programs are working ......

also "Under the Bush administration, which promised to ease what it viewed as costly rules that placed unnecessary burdens on businesses, industry-friendly officials have been installed at agencies that oversee the nation’s workplaces, food suppliers, environment and consumer goods." that means the little foxes are watching the henhouse and you and yer chillens is pertected from .... well ..... from government efficiency in protecting you ...... and corporations are protected from the slightest shred of conscience or humanity ......

we're having a heat wave here in california, but it's not meteorological: it's theological: satan's keeping the doors of hell open for all the republican fucks who are "retiring" or getting forced out of office .... there are so many of them that satan's just keeping the door open, and some of the heat's escaping ..... think about it: gonzo, rove and ..... and it's like a revolving door, too; they go in, stay a while, and come back out ....

oh .... you thought they were going there for punishment? no .... ha ha ..... they're just going home because they wanted to spend more time with their families; they'll hang out, torment a few more souls, recharge their batteries, and head on back up to cause the rest of us more fucking grief .....

i see that larry craig, r-idaho (yo, lar' mah man ..... wheah you frum? ..... ah--de--ho ... no, bitch, ah din't ax you yo job .... i say wheah you frum? ..... ) is resigning after his little .... mmmm .... episode in a urinal ..... hey, i don't want to seem judgemental or anything ..... rooting for butt nuggets under a stranger's foreskin isn't my idea of fun 'n' games, but if nibbling ass flakes and snorting sphincter smoke--without an introduction--is something you like to do, then be my guest .....

the "media" reported craig's disclaimers: "i'm not gay ... i've never been gay .... " what most of "the media" didn't report were these sequiturs: "i'm married .... i love my wife and my family ....." jesus, does giving a blowjob mean you don't love your family? you know, i've been married a bunch and have had uncountable partners, and you know they had to be giving it up if they wanted to show their love for their family ...... the point is, this asshole isn't guilty of wanting to suck off strangers in a shitter; he's an asshole who's guilty of being a republican ...... [i see that i misunderstoodimated what "i'm resigning" means to a republican .... what it really means is "you didn't quite understand the word 'resign' because i'd qualified it by crossing my fingers behind my back when i said it plus i had a special magic buttplug in place that negates everything you think i said to something that i might possibly have been thinking about but didn't know so you didn't either and besides i was schnorggling on a monster furtenschwangler and it was yummy yummy yummy on my gums and in my tummy so everything i might have maybe said doesn't really count so fuck you anyway] ........

of course none of this means shit .... we had mark foley who was .... mmmm .... turning the page in the hallowed halls of congress and what ever happened to him? brownie of "yer doin' a heckuva job brownie" fame is now a 'consultant on disasters ...."

any fucking republican is an expert on disasters .....

the second anniversary of katrina just blew by like a leaf on a hurricane and i can't even begin to woof woof arf arf and woof woof and arf arf ....

the washington post tells me that condoleezza rice is worried about her "legacy ...." hey condi: i don't understand the preoccupation of "burnishing your legacy": you're a lying shallow sack of shit, a corporate whore, and you're utterly incompetent ..... what can you do with a legacy like that?

why don't we just look at the legacy you really are leaving: a million dead, one country devastated and in chaos, another polarized even while being plundered and strip mined ..... nice note for the history books: what's your legacy? mmmmm ..... killed a lot of people .... i mean a LOT of people ..... shilled myself out to giant corporations .... played some piano .... had a good time, you know?

national prickhead radio is telling me that bush is already thinking about cashing in on the lecture circuit after he walks out of the white house, leaving a smoldering turd on the dining room table .... the eighth horseman of the pork-a-lips needs to make some money, and talkin' (we all know what a smooth talker he is; god, life can be funny ....) seems to be the way he gonna doot .....

i wonder what he'll talk about: inspirational talks on the demands of being a mass murderer? pretzel-choking for fun and profit?

there's living proof that anything can be president of the united states ..... i think howdy doody'd be the perfect republican candidate: good lookin', authentic, and says just waht he s'posed to say, long's ya pull his strings ......

but ......

what i wanted to go into was, for a change, music .....

i've been listening to the beatles' "sergeant pepper" for the last two weeks; i had the cd in my player as i drove back from oregon .... i'm still listening to it: after forty years i'm still hearing new things in it ..... but you know what? my boys started preschool this morning (it costs more than my stanford undergraduate career--unless .... ha ha .... you include the drugs) and i've been training for a brisk bike ride around lake tahoe next week, so ..... excuse me; i think i'll go to bed ......

next: dr. pete and sergeant pooper

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

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