Untitled # 445,682

i played a show last night with my old friend michael lindner playing bass .... after thirty years of playing together (off and on, mind you) i think we're getting pretty good .... and i also figure that we've finally arrived ....

gee, pete, what makes you think that?

well, somehow towards the show's end we'd attracted the kind of damaged person you associate with kelp dancing at grateful dead concerts, or the fine upstanding precious children of gawd you'd find gagging on their vomit while burbling "hot fuckin' tuna ...." yes, a matched set, a couple, slobbering and foaming and howling and gyrating madly in front of us ....

whatever you do with creatures like this, you don't want to make eye contact .... they sense weakness, they know when there's blood in the water, and it whips them into a frenzy ....

the cops arrived and took the male off as we were taking our instruments out to our cars; that left the alpha female, alone and angry, barking and snapping at passers-by ..... michael and i had just confronted the true face of america: .... disoriented, confused, and with a southern drawl .... dangerous, drug addled, brain damaged .... unwashed, unlettered, uneducated ... and fuckin' proud of it, and goddam proud of their time in the slams ....

my own understanding of this great land of ours deepened even further today when, while visiting costco i saw a very large woman wearing a bulging t-shirt that said "america .... one nation ..... under god ...."

i've told you before: every time i hear that i see lady liberty, lying face down in the dirt, her eyes shut tight, her torch extinquished in the dust .... there's an unwashed, overweight, greasy haired, unshaven man with soiled clothes and rotting teeth on top of her, hunching and humping away .... yes, a spiritual ass-fuckin', one nation .....

under god ....

and then i saw a t-shirt that said "no one fucks with jesus ...."

jesus ..... i just ..... i just don't now what to say .....

well, i was going to once more catechize the great minds and spiritual leaders the republicans have fobbed off on a willing populace: dan quayle, unable to spell ..... ronald reagan, unable to stay awake .... the bushes, unable to tell the truth, or recognize it if it nibbled on their shins ..... i thought of john mitchell, nixon's indicted attorney general ... patrick grey, nixon's indicted head of the fbi .... i thought of iran contra ..... i thought of donald rumsfeld and dick cheney and condoleeza rice and karl rove and .....

these fuckers won't even get indicted to get fucking pardoned by the next generation, will they?

well, this evening while driving up to my gym i stumbled onto an am radio station and you know what that's like and who monoplizes the channels and one of the things i heard was how the republicans were passing legislation to protect families, and how proud they were that legislation had been passed to withhold welfare from single teenage mothers ....

the announcer smugly noted that there were "a lot of them .....in certain communities ...."

why didn't he just say "niggers?" why didn't he just say, those goddamn niggers, all they do is get pregnant so's they kin sit back in their cadillacs and eat chawklit and watch opera windfree and suck on the welfare tit 'coz you know they don't wanna work .....

i'd go on, but i'm too tired to puke blood ....

but i'm really proud that we're making it impossible as well as criminal for women--not just single teenage mothers--to terminate unwanted pregnancies .... we'll now deny them funds or assistance to take care of the children we make them have ....

yessirreebob, real family christian values .....

but that's not what i wanted to say, although i deeply appreciate you letting me share like this; it makes me feel so ..... so much ..... so much lighter ......

all i wanted to say was, you're in for a streak of good luck, because i'm going to be away from computers and won't be writing for a couple of weeks, and one of those weeks will be my whirlwind tour of new york city with the geriatrics ... i mean, the jeffersons ..... i mean, the wheelchair .....

oh, whatever .....

i've been working on my tribute to hot tuna, and i think i'm getting it down ..... where i extend my right arm, the hand in a closed fist, palm up ..... and i slowly unfurl the middle finger ....

practise makes perfect, and don't you fergit it ....

y'all have a real good time while i'm away ..... don't go readin' any liberal media now .....

and y'all disregard any real hot weather? 'coz there ain't nuthin' to no globel klimit change .....

next: dr. pete recovers

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

2 Comments

Pete Slauson says:

You have such a way with words.. Maybe you should tell it like it is, rather than beat around the "BUSH" .. Hee Heee Ha

Submitted by Pete Slauson on Thu, 07/17/2014 - 12:41
T S says:

Ha I think lot's of people fucked with shesus. They fucked up his hands, his feet his life, they nailed him to a fucking cross for christ sake...um what? Then for the next two thousand years the christians banded together to make sure he doesn't come back by putting crosses with his likeness everywhere. Wasn't that the point of crucifixion in the first place, to line the roads into rome with cursed people hanged up on crosses so no more would try to enter the city. Fuck you know I'd be up in front cuz I've given the finger to so many people lately that I kinda enjoy seeing it back. Even today my wife,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Now that I'm learning a bit more on my six string it is like for what? Iike last night I got a third of the way into All the young dudes, in a real time warp, and ended that once great song by throwing my guitar down, trashing my wireless headphones and assailing my wife for five minutes about her not respecting my attempts to practice. Listening to Going Home in the car with my son I heard applause from a respectably small audience but it might just have been the air leaking out of my head.
GLAPL good luck and play loud
Warning: swimming with your mouth wide open in a pool full of tadpoles can be life threatening. Especially if they are those south of the border poison kind.

not in the greatest shape today pete, have a good one!

Submitted by T S on Thu, 07/17/2014 - 12:41

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