12 Steps To Better Abs .... tinence

another newspaper snippet: "Millions of dollars in taxpayer funds have flowed to groups that support President Bush's agenda on abortion and other social issues.

Under the auspices of its religion-based initiatives and other federal programs, the administration has funneled at least $157 million in grants to organizations run by political and ideological allies, according to federal grant documents and interviews."

this must be in keeping with all those "faith based charities ...." you know, the oneth that keep thoving their beliefth in your fathe ...... until you want to thpit up .....

it's really hard to argue with people that place so much emphasis on a place--heaven--and people--little congregate cell blastulae--that don't exist ..... i used to try and get people like that on medications ..... but ..... they're rarely compliant ..... with reality ..... or considerate of others .....

of course you know that a precept for many of these organizations is to get you girls back into chastity belts, with only republicans and christians holding the key ..... which, i'm sure, they'd like to sniff regularly .... most of them teach "abstinence" as birth control .... i wish they'd practice it themselves .... fewer republicans and christians? what a wonderful world this would be ..... but still, i think that abstinence is a really really good idea .....

here's how i'd like to see our "leaders" practice abstinence ....

hey, george: stop fucking me .....

hey, all you southern cracker senators and congressmen: stop fucking with me .....

abstain from tapping my phone and opening my mail and monitoring every fucking thing i do .....

how about abstaining from looting our treasury?

how about abstaining from fucking iraq?

why not abstain from fucking the soldiers you've sent over there?

do you think you corporate whores could abstain from being such greedy, amoral, conscienceless, sociopathic, entitled, manipulative egregious lying fucks?

you bible humpers .... how about abstaining from telling me what to think, feel, believe and do ..... how about abstaining from being so self-righteous and intrusive and and judgemental and autocratic and controlling ......

but really .... it comes down to ....

just stop fucking us ..... stop fucking us and stop fucking with us and stop fucking the world ........

just kidding, of course .....

speaking of jokes, we just slid right past the third anniversary of our illegal, unilateral, pre-emptive invasion of iraq .... why, it was just a ripple on the pond of our obtunded consciousness, the anniversary of our successful war, now that mission is accomplished and combat operations are over, on terror which we celebrate with 2300 dead soldiers, over 20,000 wounded soldiers, a quarter of a million dead iraqis, trillions of dollars in debt, the most corrupt and inept regime this country has ever known, and ..... brittany's pregnant, so who cares about all that other stuff? .... meanwhile, the media hastened to inform us that demonstrations weren't as big as had been hoped for..... they said this as though it implied, on the part of those who didn't show up, some kind of tacit approval of bush and his cronies ......

well, over three years ago millions--and i mean millions--of people around the world took to the streets ..... contrary to popular public preconceptions, not everyone who marched was culled from the berkeley campus ..... they weren't "wild-eyed radicals:" they were people .... there were millions of real people: old people, young people, and in-between people; white people and yellow people and tannish people and dark people and pale people; there were large people and there were small people; there were short people and there were tall people; there were mothers and fathers and there were sons and daughters and ...... there were lots and lots of people that, time and time again, went out to say, "no ..... don't do this ..... it's crazy ..... it's stupid ..... it's arrogant .... it's not a good idea .... don't.... do .... this ......" somehow they .... somehow we ..... somehow we knew things that mysteriously eluded the "intelligence community" and the "policy makers" and the "decision makers" and our "leaders ....."

somehow we knew that wmd was a horseshit tale; somehow we knew that our former asset and ally saddam didn't fly the 9/11 planes ..... somehow we knew that iraq had a lot of oil, but wasn't going to lob a nuke at new york .....

and what happened? well, aside from most media minimizing numbers and disparaging participants--as though two million people around the world somehow got out of the dark cellars they'd been confined to, cast of their restraints, eluded their handlers, stopped taking their meds, and took to the streets to form ad hoc "focus groups"--defying the reasons and rationales of our great and fearless leader ..... ha ha ha, those fools .....

well, you know what happened: electoral theft and fraud became the mandate for a "whore" president to "spend political capital" by ensuring security .... for halliburton .....

as for me? .... i was changing diapers a few days ago, so i didn't go march again ..... but i'm not sure i'd have gone even had i not had my hands (the shoulder is great and i can change diapers again) filled with doo ..... gosh, i've had a real lesson in civics, haven't you? how our "government" responds to the concerns of its constituents .... oh, i meant corporations, of course, and big time campaign contributors ..... because you and i don't count for shit ......

but wait! there's more!

king george is stumping the hustings again, flogging that tired old nag of iraq as the breeding ground of terrorists and saying, in effect, that by taking a shit on the iraqis and on our civil liberties we've made america safe .... and king george is saying that, as in everything that he's fucked up in his life, whether it be going AWOL from the national guard or going broke with his oil company or fronting a baseball team or driving texas into debt, someone's going to come along and pick up the pieces of the things he's broken: he's saying that america will get out of viet na .... i mean, iraq ..... but it won't be him that does it ....

he's going to leave the mess to the next president .....

and he'll let my children and your children and our children's children pay the fucking debt that these scumbags, these "fiscal conservatives," these "responsible" people, have saddled this country with ..... oh, what better way to minimize government than by bankrupting the country ......

but gosh .... i don't want to be dour ..... or like the media that aids terrorists because it doesn't bring us the good news, it just brings us the bad news from iraq, like another shitload of people murdered by death squads or blown up by car bombs or we don't even hear about the ones that die from lack of medications or hunger and it's the media's fault that we don't approve of what's happening over there or what we're doing because it's only for their own good we really do love those people like we love our own people the ones down in louisiana or wherever it was those people that got out of n'orleens before that whatchamacallit big storm hit and where are they now i don't know so i don't care it's probably the best ol' thang that ever happen to 'em 'cos now they can sell their property, the property that no insurance companies will pay up on because the flood insurance companies say damage was due to wind, while the wind insurance companies say the damage was due to flood, but they still have to pay the mortgages and i don't think they'll be able to vote because, well, first because they're darkies but mostly because they don't have a residence or a post office box any more but it's all for the good because they can sell their property and it'll be a golf course ..... where, if they're still around, they can get a job as caddies ..... and sanitary engineers ....

so ..... cheer up, america ..... let's look on the bright side ..... what shall we talk about today, just three years after the united states invaded iraq and they're enjoying freedoms like they've never had before: freedom from electricity; freedom from clean water; freedom from food; freedom from safety ...... shall we talk about the incursions made on women's control of their bodies in the united states of christer america? how the rule of law and stare decisis and the laws of the land don't extend to laws that our radical clerics don't like? shall we talk about--and have a hearty chuckle about--polar icecaps melting? shall we sit cheek by jowl and giggle over bush saying, wahl, that ain't no civil war ..... and allawi, the former prime minister of iraq who might presumably know a little bit more about it, says, oh, it's a civil war, all right .... shall we guffaw how helen thomas, who asked bush why he started a war, became the news, rather than the non-answer?

or should we just watch brittany's bulge?

i'm going with the bulge ......

next: dr. pete talks about more scumbags bootlegging "black kangaroo"