Sticky Wicket

oh, dear diary: what a week we've had! we have word of the destruction of 92 [more] cia tapes documenting cia torture ..... ooooo .... the cia dog ate the cia homework! bad doggie! bad doggie!

we have cheney admitting to having knowledge of and advocating "techniques" the civilized world has acknowledged to be torture for centuries, "techniques" that led to the prosecution and execution of japanese combatants, by the united states, for war crimes after world war II ....

not surprising that there's "debate" over whether there should be criminal prosecution for such blatant violations of international laws: republicans would like to torture and kill whoever they want with no blowback whatsoever but ..... this isn't simply a question of hunting down and killing the scum that subverted the ideals of the united states, although that's not a bad idea, neither can we dismiss the movement towards investigation and prosecution as a "partisan witch hunt," one that should not be considered because "we need to move forward, not look back ...." republicans continue to perseverate over semen soaked satin from the clinton era which, by my rudimentary math, was over ten years ago--while cheney's appearance on ABC's World News was broadcast Dec. 15, 2008 ......

jesus ... i don't know ..... i mean, i know how completely superficial our "media" is; if seeing headlines like "octuplets mom! no sex for eight years!" "her problems with men!" at the supermarket checkout aisle doesn't give you a clue, i don't know what does ... but the new york times? the new york times? i never realized what an impact michelle obama was having on the republican psyche: oooooooo, an intelligent woman ..... eeeeeeee ..... a dark-complected woman ...... aaaaaaaaa ..... a physically fit woman ...... maureen dowd's (MoDo the DoDo) got a whole front page column dedicated to michelle obama's bare arms, and david brooks, another highly paid new york times front page "columnist" says he's tired of "thunder and lightning" by which i guess means her arms and he's probably thinking to himself oooooo she's got a dark p*ssy a m*sky m*ffin nnnnnnnnn i'll bet he want some strong woman to tie him up whip him because he's been so naughty and ..... and ...... and fucking god did you hear me shrieking before i threw my fucking computer out the window what the fuck is wrong with us what's it like to be such a fucking asshole i wish i knew i can't imagine what it's like getting paid lots and lots and lots of money to be a complete dithering twit isn't there anything worth thinking about other than how buffed michelle obama is i mean i know laura bush was the physical and mental pillsbury dough-bunny and xanax poster girl and i don't have a tv but i still know that there was another well organized killing by pakistani fundamentalists who shot at the sri lankan cricket team folks that's really serious cricket is a sacred cow over there threatening players is like peeing in the baptismal font in st. peter's cathedral in the vatican seeing a turd bobbing on the surface just before you genuflect and obama's now getting ready to cut a deal with the taliban which means he wants to put them on the payroll .... again ..... because they were on our payroll back when the russians were in afghanistan so we might as well pay 'em not to fuck with us we've certainly had no luck hunting them down they just get stronger and stronger big opium crop you know and what happens when we run out of money and can't pay 'em there'll come a time when we can't cut funding to any more schools hospitals police are we going to give them a pink slip saying sorry guys you'd better look for some other form of employment find someone else to kill'em sure that'll go over really well and here's the deal .....

i know it'll come as a great shock to you but maybe, just maybe, our really good friend pakistan, maybe they're not our Best Friends Forever, even though we dumped over fifty billion dollars into the pakistani Inter-Services Intelligence Directorate (ISI), the guys that channeled a lot of that money on to al quaeda and the taliban, and now they've let a.q. khan out of his house you know the Father of the Pakistani Atomic Bomb the guy who was selling nuke technology to anyone and everyone with the cost of a frappucino in their pocket sure he was under house arrest for a while but the pakis would never let the cia or the fbi talk to him maybe they didn't want him waterboarded so there we have our good friends with fleets of f-16s we've sold 'em and nukular weppons and more religious fanatics than you'll have to help me with a simile here i'm too tired to come up with anything better than a republican prayer meeting but you know what i'm driving at and gosh guys i don't know but maybe just maybe the bush administration's lack of any coherent policy other than just throwing gobs of money at repressive military regimes around the world that were clearly not "democracies" that showed no inclination of ever being a "democracy" that just haphazardly stroked our military dick and said "ooooo daddy it's so big now give me more money" that were subsidizing our avowed enemies not that we were very interested in finding people like osama bin laden certainly the pakistani intelligence didn't need to find him they knew right where he was they delivered pizzas to his front door all because bush pursued simplistic policies that put torturing prisoners above the need for nation building and dealing with the enemies of the united states and believe me we do have enemies and ......

if that's all bush and cheney and all those shitheads wanted to do wouldn't it have been cheaper and easier to just bring 'em animals from the shelter they could torture kitties set fire to dogs pull the whiskers off of puppies incinerate kittens eviscerate hamsters here's your gerbil you scumbag fuck you know where you can put this one .....

jeeeziz ..... michelle obama's got bare arms ..... please ..... someone help me ......

america's always been racist and classist, but there are resentments against classes and stratae that i never dreamed of: what does "equality" mean these days? that we're all fat, stupid, incompetent and resentful? .... there's a move afoot to put a bike path through a hill that abuts my house .... let me be really candid here: i'm vehemently opposed to it, and i'll tell you why: i don't want any more shitheads near my house than i already have .... seriously: i've actually had people crawl through a quarter mile of thick brush and poison oak; haul themselves over my very high lower fence; climb up through my lower yard; rap on my back door and say "we're lost .... can we use your bathroom and walk on through?"

so i went to a meeting about bike paths last week, and i learned that people who want to ride bicycles on bike paths in marin county need bike paths because they don't want to bicycle over hills because, well .... it's just too hard .... and they don't want the bike path to go near any intersections because, well .... it's so difficult to stop a bike or make a turn ..... but it's all okay because putting this bike path through the mountain even though we don't know if it's feasible the southern pacific tunnel that goes under the little mountain's been shut down and filled up and decaying for twenty years just the feasibility studies alone run a couple three mil a conservative estimate to actually do something'd be around eighty mil but it's okay because it'll reduce the carbon footprint and people'll get out of their cars and they'll all go shopping on their bikes i'm not making this up and the skies will be filled with magic rainbows and we'll all be green and pooty the wonder pony'll walk up to you and you can give him a lump of sugar and braid his mane and then i learned that these whining snivelling little maggots really hate people who actually ride bikes because they're "really athletic and really fit and they can go up hills it's no problem for them and then they come bombing down because they're all thrill seekers and adrenaline addicts" and i thought i'd died and gone to a confabulation of the stepford wives sucking off the pod people and i said you know the problem with god is, she just made a lot of hills when she made marin county wouldn't it be easier if we just bulldozed everything? and what i didn't say was god fucked up when she made all of you so stupid and fat and intolerant and entitled and really fucking ugly too and everyone smiled at me and said yes, you sure got that right and then i went outside and puked duodenal blood up into the bushes .....

so ..... let's get back to this torture thing, the thing we do so well .... it's glib and it's facile, just saying that the beast within us all lies beneath a thin quivering veneer of civilization; i'll bitch slap the next fool who dismisses torture as "it's a post-9/11 world," or who says "stringent times demand harsh measures ...." don't tell me that beating people to death or smearing menstrual blood on a koran's "kept us safe;" au contraire, mes amis: it's pissed off a lot of people, they're well armed, and they've got a bone to pick .... americans aren't an introspective bunch, but we'd better learn how, and we'd better learn it really fast .... over sixty years after the end of the second world war the german newspaper, der spiegel, regularly runs articles on the third reich; they're not forgetting, they're still looking for lessons ..... i think there's some lessons we can learn; an important lesson for americans to learn is that there is such a thing as "the rule of law" and that "having a bad hair day" doesn't excuse barbarism, torture, or mass murder .....

next: dr. pete rides pooty the wonder pony

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

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