Chee-Wah-Wah-Wah-Wah-Too-See

hey, tonto! what's that sound of remote thunder? what's the sound of distant drums that i hear? sounds like a stampede ....

kemo sabay .... that be the members of the press, tripping over their tiny flaccid little dicks, rushing to be the first to recite the litany of republican failures, deceptions, corruption, ineptitude which have somehow managed to elude their perspicacity, their dilgence, and their razor sharp perceptions for lo! these last six years .... and ... kemo sabay? they now--albeit tentatively--predict a democratic win in the house and the senate this coming midterm election ......

oh, tonto, you barbaric ignorant unlettered fucking savage you ..... are you eating them peeeeeee-yotle buttons again? you having visions of a future that isn't here and that will never come? are you slurping down an infusion of jimson weed? chewin' on datura again? oh, tonto .... your people are so precious in their primitive barbaric non-christian splendor ......

speaking of disgusting, nauseating repulsive spectacles (and we were) have you been enjoying this spectacle of conscienceless, slavering pack animals suddenly turning their scabrous hindquarters 'round so's they can nip at the hands that have been feeding them for so long? and i'm not just talking about republicans, who are scattering like cockroaches across a suddenly lit kitchen floor, trying to distance themselves from childfuckers and war criminals, who shriek that every disclosure of their thefts and depredations is the result of a "democratic conspiracy, timed to coincide with the elections ...... "

i'm talkin' 'bout the fearless press ......

boy, i sure am enjoying that spectacle .... boy, i sure like ball-less fucking chihuahas gettin' up 'n' dancin' on their hind legs, pretendin' that suddenly they got a cojones transplant 'n' now they big dogs ......

gosh, we're learning that ..... gasp! ..... there are corrupt republicans! and .... oh my word! iraq isn't going ...... all that well! and ..... well bless my soul! ..... why, some republicans'll abuse the power that they've stolen! and ..... oh lordy goodness ..... maybe there were some .... mmmmm ..... misrepresentations of the justifications presented for an illegal, immoral, pre-emptive unilateral invasion and occupation of a sovereign nation that didn't pose a threat to us, had never posed a threat to us other than not handing over their oil to bush and his buddies and that--at one time--was our great good friend in the mid-east, good pals and buddies with king george the first and his crew of dessicate fuck elves like donald rumsfeld, whose picture shaking saddam hussein's hand as he turned over a couple of billion dollars that didn't have to be repaid and a shitload of cluster bombs for whacking the kurds you should never fucking forget ......

but wait! there's more!

because ball-less spavined leprotic chihuahas that prance around on their spindly l'il hahnd laigs, with a nice red sateen ribbon 'round their scrawny l'il necks, yappin' like all get-out, like to think they're king makers and have efficacy, now the press is talking about how democratic candidates are serious people and not the buffoons they've been presented as for the last six-plus years .... now these little pipsqueak yippers aren't using democrats as the spittoons for their contempt, and even "conservative pundits" (and they're all fucking conservative, aren't they?) are saying .... well .... maybe republican candidates aren't .... mmmmm ..... qualified .... and maybe we need a change of direction ..... and maybe "stay the course" is an idiot's mantra that has no substance or meaning, other than ringing the bell that sets retards to shitting themselves ..... other than killing three quarters of a million eye-rackis 'n' three thousand of our young people who didn't have the good fortune to become congressional pages and ass chaff for our representatives .... and maybe bankrupting the country isn't such a .... mmmm ..... good idea .....

unless, of course, we're getting bought off ........

is that what happened? we're so bankrupt the republicans can't even pay off the press corps any more?

and whatever happened to jeff gannon, the male prostitute who masqueraded as a journalist (that'll tell you something about journalists these days: journalist = prostitute), who was cleared by the fbi, who visited the white house ninety-three (93) times, dressed up in "combat gear" and "desert camo" ...... what was he doing there? playing "pony boy" with the "big man" in the oval office?

because you know how he likes to play dress-up ...... "emissions accomplished!"

but i digress ......

the spectacle of bugs 'n' slugs pretending to be vertebrate is bad enough .... the real debacle is, how low can the republicans go in their thrashings, their manoeuverings, their sidestepping responsibility? how fast can they dance as they dodge "the issues?" how much cat sand can they throw on the vital concerns of the american peeple?

in the last week we've had the white house blame bill clinton for north korea's entering the proud pantheon of nukilar powers .... oh, yeah .... oh that durned ol' bill clinton .....

then we've had republican congressman christopher shays drag up ted kennedy and chappaquidick in an attempt to dodge the known, sanctioned and approved childfucking of mark foley who, even though fox news would have us believe otherwise, is a republican! a republican! a republican! a family values republican!

hey, chris, you pathetic glob of phlegm: chappaquidick was in 1969 ..... simple math, which american students can no longer do thanks to the de-funding of schools, tells us that that was thirty-seven years ago ..... that's quite a stretch, even for a scumbag like yourself .... and weren't we talking about a childfucker who was head of the "let's protect our children from seeing titties on the web 'n' protect 'em from predators who'd want to fuck 'em in the ass" program?

i can't think of a better hiding place for the fox .... than in the henhouse ..... and that brings up a new press category: "overly friendly e-mails ....." i don't think that writing an e-mail to a young boy, "i can't wait to have you suck the shit off the creamy end of my fuckstick after i've fucked you time and time again in your tight teen ass" is ..... well ...... not really "overly friendly," not if you're on a first name basis .....

but wait! there's more! .....

then i heard a "debate" between .... oh, lord .... i can't remember the names of the principals .... but it hardly matters, because it's all so ..... mmmm .... generic ..... one was a democrat who'd been in the military for twenty-three years .... the other? a republican who's avoided the military all his life .... and the thrust of the republican's arguments went like this:

my opponent is: 1) a lifetime member of the aye see ell you ..... 2) he supports gay marriage! 3) will let messcans into this country! 4) will take yore tacks dollers 'n' give those messcans an edjamacation! 5) he'll give them messcans .... gasp! health care! 5) he'll raise yore taxes ...... 6) he'll raise yore taxes ..... 7) yore gonna pay more taxes to the gummint ..... 8) did i tell you he was a lifetime member of the a c l u? 9) he supports gay marriage! and finally, 10) he's gonna raise yer taxes ......

jeeeziz h. fuck ..... there's some compelling incisive deep fucking thought for you ...... billy the singing bass makes more sense than this fucking cretin ......

after i threw my radio across the room and vomited blood into the kitchen wastebasket, i asked myself stupid questions like, gee .... the american civil liberties union? is that the greatest threat americans face? and the vision of .... same sex marriage ..... gee, i don't know ..... you'd think the mass murder of our children, tossed into our military--when they're not being chased down and assfucked by our republican representatives--would be a more imminent concern .... and .... and ....

we know that the deaths of 650,000 iraqis is of no concern whatsoever ....

and then there was the disclosure that the white house and the republicans were laughing at all the "evangelicals" and "christians" that comprise their base, who slobber and foam and cream every time the rnc rings the tired old bell of "values voters ....."

they're all beneath contempt .....

i can't go on ..... it really makes me feel hopeless, you know? first of all, you're not buying my music like you should ..... and that means i have to think about this shit and write about it, and i't's not good for my health ...... and then i wonder ...... are americans really this stupid? will they be distracted by desperate, amoral, lying, shameless, murdering, thieving, corpsefucking shits who'd steal the morphine suppository out of their dying grandmother's asshole just so's they could get a boost? will the republicans really steal another election? will the democrats lie down and roll over, once more?

and the answer is .....

oh, you bet they will ......

you just bet they will .....

next: dr. pete regrets that all his parents and grandparents are dead and he has to scramble for that pre-owned morphine suppository ......

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

1 Comment

Lauren says:

Well Dr. Pete, it sure is a good thing you didn't get started on Habeas Corpus in ChickenHawk, ChickenShit.
It's official; Congress killed it in September by passing the Military Commissions Act of 2006. Now THE PRESIDENT AND ALL HIS MEN get to define American Citizens of their choice as "ENEMY COMBATANTS". No oversight by Congress. Why the Military has it's name on a law affecting civilians is beyond my comprehension.
So picketing business's, peaceful demonstrations, writers questioning U.S. government policy can all be defined as "enemy combatants".

Now it would be bad enough to arrest people and charge them for any of the above, but now: NO HABEAS CORPUS + MR. PRESIDENT DECIDING WHO IS AMERICAN OR AN EMENY AMERICAN = DISAPPEARING AMERICAN CITIZENS.

Do you think American citizens are gonna start disappearing to beautiful tropical islands like Guantanamo and have a room with a view or are they gonna disappear right here on U.S. soil where there are plenty of empty places ready and waiting like Alcatraz, or there's always that old Spanish Fort from 1688 in St. Augustine, Florida with a view and all the tools of torture still sitting there.

Heil to the Chief, sorry, I meant to say Heil to The Emperor.

Lauren

Submitted by Lauren on Thu, 07/17/2014 - 11:04

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