Torch-R-Us

a friend of mine just wrote to ask me if i'd heard that an unnamed democratic candidate was proposing we send more troops to iraq to finish the job ..... i replied that i hadn't specifically heard that, but that i wasn't surprised .... what we have in this country is one party with two right wings, and the democrats are tripping over their own (very tiny) dicks to prove to the american sheeple that they're tougher, badder, hate homosexuals more, and can fuck more "salamifasicststs ...." i mean, "islamo-fascists," than their republican counterparts .....

what a bunch of craven fucking assholes ....

hillary clinton, who republicans have fervidly nominated as the democratic presidential candidate, is trying to prove she has one .... no, i don't mean an asshole; it's a tautology to assume that one who is one has one; i'm talking about a dick: she would like us'n's to think she's got one ..... even if she doesn't, it's still larger than george's, dick's, and donnie's put together ....

oh ..... i'm not so sure about condoleeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzza ..... you know how .... mmmm .... endowed ..... those people are ......

the disconnect is appalling in a country that now polls over 63% disapproval of the bush poseur and his hegemony; you'd think that any non-coopted political party would capitalize on that by devising a strategy, a platform that would reflect the desires and wants and feelings of a majority of americans, but .... no .... not this party, not in this country, not this time, and i think the time is long since past when there might actually have been a coherent movement of conscientious and capable people of vision and integrity, in the democratic party ......

they're all republican-lite, leftovers of raging, sociopathic rightwing fucks, a howling mob of self-centered narcissists and power brokers, for whom plenty is never enough because there's always something that remains to be stolen, sullied, dirtied, emptied, ruined, plundered, ass-fucked, and left bleeding in the streets .....

what shall we call them? what kind of dipshit name can we use to describe these slackjawed cumpots? what's out there that'll resonate with a madison avenue prepped populace? what'll resonate with the american peeple? no-carb assholes? no transfat cocksuckers? jackboots 'n' creme? homeland harlots? and when the fuck did we ever become a "homeland?"

makes you want to attend a rally, doesn't it ..... oh, and put those fucking jews .... .no! no! i meant messcans! into boxcars 'n' ship 'em off .....

i'd thought of writing about how fundamentalist muslims, who aren't representative of the millions and millions of muslims around the world but may soon become so if we keep up our whoreshit and bush-shit and the kind of genocidal crusades the republicans have us embarking on even as so many of us scream, no you scumbag cocksuckers, not in our fucking name you filthy assholes but you'd never know we said a word, thanks to the meticulous coverage afforded democracy by our compliant and shitsucking media ..... gosh, their assholes are just like our assholes, aren't they? i mean, i can't tell 'em apart: sexually repressed, monomaniacal, sociopathic megalomaniacs who want to jam their fist down your throat, their foot up your ass, and keep you in line for your own fucking good .... i think it's wonderful how, in a country that declares itself christian, in which well over fifty percent believe the bible to be the "literal word of god," so many christians feel that they are persecuted and clamor for special consideration which includes the abrogation of the bill of rights and using the constitution as wrapping paper for the fish and loaves which, of course, wouldn't get fed to any poor people, let alone those dumb n*****s who jesus hates so much that he had god toss 'em a hurricane down in n'orleans ......

geez, dr. pete .... are you feelin' ..... okay? you seem .... i don't know .... a mite ..... agitated .......

okay, okay ..... you're right .... i'm overreacting again .... why, i should just settle back with my xanax suppositories and my cheetohs and my shit-lite-no-carb-no-transfuck-organic-e-coli-all-natural-except-for-the-radioactive-isotopes-but-hey-radiation's-natural-too-corporate-official-sponsor-of-some-fucking-corporate-athletic-competition-beer and grin while that thing in the white house, stomps his feet and clenches his fist and grinds his fucking teeth, shrieking like the petulant, spoiled, psychotic brat he is: "mommmmeeeeeeeee ..... i wanna set fire to the cat ..... i wanna set fire to the cat ........"

some wannabe adults are saying, no, little georgie, you can't set fire to the cat .... it might hurt the pussy .....

but georgie doesn't care whether he hurts the pussy or not, and he'll maintain that not only does it not hurt the cat, because it's harmless fire, but when the fucker's finally incinerated the house'll be in better shape and everyone in it'll be safer ..... because georgie hates the pussy and so do all his homoerotic buddies who think it's groovy to sodomize rugheads and n*****rs with a five-cell mag-lite and make 'em jerk off and when they do then georgie jerks off and, because he hates the pussy and there's no blue dress to catch his anemic seed, he's got to use the gaping mouths of antonio gonzales and ......

god, i just can't fucking go on ...... are we, in the united states of america, in the twenty-first fucking century, still debating whether it's okay to torture people? because the "president" wants to?

yes, doctor pete, yes .... we are .... isn't it wonderful that we're having a debate? isn't that what democracy's all about?

blow me .....

gosh, do you think if, for example, the new york times, or the washington post, when they weren't running headline articles on paris hilton, actually ran a front page story that detailed what our "interrogation techniques" involved--you know, the ones that have killed but in a really kindly and fraternity fun kinda way, just jokin', mohammed, fuck, too bad you can't take a joke like you could take the sears diehard battery up your ass, and i guess y'all spent so much time out in the sand dunes y'all cain't breathe underwater, my bad, hey, sorry 'bout that, a coupla dozen people well they're not really people because they're moooslims and on top of that they're turrirorrisschst and islamo-fascists wow we got a new fucking meme to fuck around with, in graphic detail, then perhaps ..... just perhaps ..... the "president" and his "cabinet" could circle jerk over it .....

and maybe, just maybe .......

no .... it was a fucking dream ..... no one reads the new york times or the washington post ..... they read stuff like--and i swear i'm not making this up: "sex secrets of NASCAR ......"

next: dr. pete goes on sabbatical