Up Your Meds

well ......

so my site crashed and disappeared and had to be rebuilt and i guess this is a shakedown cruise, which means the corporations that fucked me up in the first place are shaking me down for more money so they can put me on hold, bounce me over to some wombat in bangalore where it's "oh i'm so sooorrry ..... yesss ..... yesssss ...... i can help you wit' dat .... may i puh choo on hole?" and the bronchitis my boys gave me that turned into walking pneumonia or i don't know what that had me prostrate and retching or was that just the news, every day, day after day, that had me crawling and gagging and retching and so fucking tired i just wanted to hide under the bed and natter with the dust bunnies and i wanted to talk about music but why talk about music it's hopeless and pointless and music sucks anyway so let's get a few sour notes out of the way ......

gosh, dear diary; the dust hasn't settled from the november elekshun, you know, the one where the american peepel expressed their disgust with the republikan party and their greed and corruption and cynicism and murderous indifference and failed polisees and the peepul put in demokrats who promised us that we'd get out of iraq 'coz that seemed to be on ever'one's mind and george said he got "a thumpin" and was "gonna lissen" and boy that sure worked out great di'n't it why we just fixed that iraq shit all up and now our dimmerkatz have turned our attenshun to a presidential elektion that's two years away and i'm glad that's where our political energies are goin' coz the demmokrats are provin' their relevance once again as is the media by proclaimin' the kind of figgers amerkans love to elect to prominent political posishuns, like a wumman and a darkly complekted person oh gosh we're ready for that aren't we america i think we shud have some of them gay peeple runnin' too and sam brownshirt, republikan from kansas which we know to be an enlitened state why it's been at least a cupple of weeks since they burnd a witch at the steak, has jumped off on the yaller brik road to the whaht howse by noting that there's just been so much divizhun in this kuntry an' it's time we wore yewnited not just as red 'n' blew staytes but as red whaht 'n' blew states and he's gonna do that by reaffirming the values of the family 'coz that's what made amerika great other than genocide 'n' greed 'n' unbridled imperialism yes that ol' family that's a platform i kin git behind all right and didn't i just read that 51% of american famblies are now single parent famblies with the mother as the figgerhead too bad the bitch's gotta work three jobz because she cain't git day care 'n' inshorance for her kids and i don't know 'bout you but i wonder if 3,100 dead sodjers in eerak not to mention the 38,000 that got their dicks 'n' titties blowd off or are so brane damidged they cain't wop their tushies let alone the threee quarter of a millyun eye-rakkees killed and that doesn't even take into accownt the refugees and we didn't even mention the refudjees from noo orleens do you think their families are fukked up i don't know what do you think?

sour notes indeed ...... i see that george "ain't too happy with the hangin's in eee-rak" ..... he should know; 437 executions during his tenure as governor of texas (i see now that texas dna tests are showing that 145% of the people on death row are innocent) and of course his dignified laughter and chanting "i don' wanna dah! ah don' wanna dah! ooooooooohhhh pleeze doncha kill me! puh-eeeeze! ah don' wannnnnna DAH!" in a parody of karla faye tucker, the woman he sent to death even though she found jayzuz 'n' was bored again and was a model prizner .....

i surely love compassionate conservatives who yew-naht 'n' don't di-vahd ......

i'm glad that there's an investigation of them hangin's in ee-rak ..... boy, we don't care that they were carried out in a portable outhouse, or that militia got their uniforms and balaklavas from ski hut's bargain basement, or that they danced rings around the intended screaming "your mother! your momma fucks camels! she eats jew dick!" before decapitating them with dental floss .... no, the investigations will find out what turrble miscreants brought this to the attention of the world ......

just like we do here: we don't put on trial people who slow insert red hot rebar into another man's anus ..... we track down and try the dirtbags that'd release this information to our ever-so-peppy press ......

those eeee-rakees ..... they may be slow, but they're learning, aren't they? they're learning what a wonderful thing freedom is, and how to enjoy it!

and thank god for our media .... this link http://thinkprogress.org/2007/01/05/senators-wrong-iraq in which diane sawyer and jake crapper note that 33 of the senators who voted to "go to war" would now not do so, knowing what they know now but didn't know then and if only they knew then what they knew now, like diane "assfuck" feinstein who said "if i were to vote the way my constituency wanted me to i would vote to not authorize but .... nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah .... i know things that you don't .... i know things that you don't ..... i know things that you don't and i can't tell you what they are because i'm smarter than you and you're not smart enough because you're oh-so-common and i'm so very very nifty and oh so nifty i'm neat and i'm witty and wise" and just kiss my ass you ratfucking scumbags why that just about toasted my fucking kippers .....

it's hard to believe that this shit passes for news, or that the pompous cretinous fucks who posture and pose and, in their self-importance, pander and condescend to the fuckwit people who are sunk deep into overstuffed furnichure, enjoying their hair as they suck down delicious light carb-free chunky-style lo-pulp organic free-range beer, get paid millions and millions and millions of dollars to be such assholes ..... diane sawyer must fuck like she reports: "oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh .... oh god! oh god! mmmmmmmoooooooooooohhhhgooooood!" christ, you can find crack whores with more integrity and honest emotion than diane "miss disingenuous multi-million dollar" sawyer: ooooo .... it's so .... big ..... you've got me so hot and so wet ...... yawn ..... i've never heard of anything like this ..... yawn ..... fuck my pussy ! fuck my pussy!"

and the little smirk that jake "i'm connected to all the right people and have dinner with 'em and we all laugh at you and at everyone who isn't anyone and that makes me an insider and important" while diane is going "oh oh oh oh oh oh i've never heard of such a thing ....."

these assholes should be rounded up and sent off to a spa someplace, where they can have fish shit and kelp meal packed onto their faces to keep their smug little smiles and shit eating grins wrinkle free ..... hey diane? what'd be amazing'd be if politicians, other than republicans who are mindless evil zombis and who walk lock-step with bush 'n da gang, would vote to kill three quarters of a million people if george and his band of fuck monkeys had presented it to them like this: hey, i'm bored and my handlers won't let me eat pretzels any more 'cause they haz ..... haz ..... hazerdus to muh hea'th 'n' it's been a real while since ah fucked somethin' up and stole a lot of stuff so i wanna invade iraq 'cause i alreddy set fire to all the cats 'round the whaht howse .... whuddaya say? can ah? huh?"

last week national pimp radio (npr) presented a fair 'n' balanced diskusshion of george 'n' the surge, featuring the man from the american enterprise institute who wrote the thing out before drawing pictures large enough and simple enough for george to follow, and some pentagon mouthpiece who also belonged to the hoover institute ......

good going, guys; boy, they sure convinced me that it's all on the up-and-up and it's been carefully thought out by some real great minds and that, well, sure, maybe some mistakes were made before, like i know we should have just used some neutron bombs on those dune coons 'cause that'd have just taken care of all them ungrateful and uppity iraqis who, gosh darn it, sure oughtta be grateful to us for makin' 'em free and all and we sure wanna support our troops by sendin' more of 'em over there, i mean, that's why they joined up in the first place, so they could protect our freedoms and we've gotta draw a line in the sand for terror and honest, isn't there a lotta sand over there and thank you lib'ral media for helpin' me understan' these great issues .... 'cause it's all so complex that i wouldn't understand it if you din't 'splain it all to me now how many are dead over there this week?

and you know the plan is just to keep fucking it up, and keep looting and handing out no-bid contracts and privatizing whatever they can and then they'll dump it all in the lap of the next administration, two years from now, probably god help us the dimmerkatz, and say, don't fuck it up now!

gotta plan, bitch?

these vile little feces garglers in the press are at it again, hard at work, trying to make it appear like the emperor actually has clothes on, or is it "the emperor has a brain?": "he's listening now .... he's taking his time and .... he's listening! oooooooooooo ...... he doesn't want to be rushed in making these critical decisions ! eeeeeee ..... the decider's not gonna decide just yet; he's .... gasp! he's gonna think! ooooooooo! he's going to behave in a .... buy partisan manner! eeeeeeee! he's reaching out! across the aisle! aaaaaaaaah ...... he's got a plan! oooooaaaaooooaaaaaoooooaaaaaaaa ....... he's a manly man! and eeeeeee! eeeeeeewwwwwww! he's admitted that mistakes have been made! rrrrrrrrrrrr .....he's gotta plan! he's gotta plan!"

what a bunch of jerkoffs ....... he's still the same sociopathic, spoiled, neurologically impaired, cretinous, cat-burning, dog-killing, fart-smelling, whoopee-cushion-brained moron he's always been ...... he never gave thought to a fucking thing, he just peddled time and diddled himself while sending more troops .... what are the democrats going to do now? buy them airplane tickets to bring them home?

while today's aol "news," always a bellweather in this great land of ours, tells me that "a new poll says that most people think of bush as strong, decisive, and stubborn ...."

really? i don't know what poll these parakeet-brained apologists are referring to .... strong? decisive? stubborn?

how about ..... cognitively impaired and incapable of ratiocination?

a few days ago a good friend of mine sent me a video clip of a comedian, prefacing it by saying how gifted the guy was with mannerisms and accents and timing and body language .... and he was; he started off, doing bush, saying how bush always looked like he was staring into the sun ..... oh, he had it down: he did bush really well and the next thing i knew, he was ha ha ha ha ha talking about bill clinton and monica lewinksi, and you know what?

i wasn't fucking amused ..... jesus christ; six fucking years of murder and plunder; six years of trampling on the constitution, of theft, of pederasty, of corruption, of diseased, evil, toxic, walking dead, of illegal wars and torture and wire tapping and this cheap shot moron wants us sniggering about bill clinton getting a blow job, which the republicans then took the next however many years and what? eight five million dollars to distract the country with impeachment proceedings?

you know what would make me laugh?

this comic asshole instituting impeachment proceedings against bush 'n da gang, for conspiring to defraud the american peeple .....

yeah, i'd laugh ......

jeeziz, pete ....

are you okay? do you need to adjust your meds again? are you .... mmmm ..... feeling a mite peckish? would you like some frog and peach? do you think a nice gin and tonic'd help you .... settle down? you gettin' enuff sleep? you seem .....

agitated .......

one final thing, then i'll go and change a diaper or two ..... i heard someone on "progressive talk radio" say how worried george's handlers'd be with george goin' off script, wingin' it, puttin' his foot up to his asshole in his mouth ..... i had to fucking laugh: ha ha ha ha ha, like they could give a shit ..... no, they don't give a shit, no one gives a shit ..... this moron is walking around, tripping over his own tiny little dick, and no .... one .... cares ..... no .... one .... gives .... a ..... shit ...... no one will pull his coat, no one'll call him out, no one will ask him anything harder than a senile schnauzer could answer ....

bush is now saying shit like, mmmmm ..... nggggghhhhahhhhhhh ...... anyone .... who ..... mmmmm .... don't .... 'n' .... they ..... oughtta .... mmmmm ..... respect .... don't like the surge .... unnnnhhhhh ..... oughtta have a plan .......

yo ... penis breath ...... how about .....

iraq study group?

i can't go on .... i've gotta ..... nnnnnnn ..... i ..... mmmmm .... need ...... mmmmmm .......

paregoric .....

lots and lots of paregoric .......

next: dr. pete feels better

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

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