"Say, Man ......"

barack obama is now the demoratic nominee .... yawn .... and bo diddley has died .....

i'm more affected by bo diddley's death than this denouement of the democratic diddle and piddle that's had the "media" going crazy over obama's pastors--but not the republicans' jew-hating-armageddon-loving-psychotic-delusional-fat-greasy-toupeed-suckers-of-satan's-cock-pastors; the headlines questioning obama's "patriotism" (no--gasp!--flag pin on his lapel!); opining that low bowling scores might make him an elitist, and .....

i actually saw a magazine called "celebrity hairstyles" at my drugstore checkout counter ....

i was in the seventh grade, maybe the eighth, when i bought a bunch of chess and checker records: "the best of little walter;" "the best of muddy waters;" howlin' wolf's "moanin' in the moonlight;" john lee hooker's "house of the blues" and, of course, bo diddley's eponymous "bo diddley ...." i also had "this is rock and roll" on atlantic; buddy holly on brunswick; the first two elvis albums on rca victor and nothing by pat boone but ..... the chess records were stunning in their impact, and it wasn't just that the music was killer, although you still can't beat those cuts by muddy waters, howlin' wolf, or little walter--the album art, most of it designed by don bronstein, was an integral part of the package, and a generation that's never been able to hold an album and look at artwork as an integral part, an extension of the music, up close, is impoverished and will sadly never know it .... i loved the drops of sweat rolling down muddy's side-lit profile; i wondered how the white of an eye could get so yellow; i loved the rundown shack on "house of the blues;" i loved all the chuck berry albums and their covers but .... bo diddley's wide-legged stance, holding his boxy gretsch, in a white jacket and a brazen stare, well .....

that told me what music was all about .....

i don't have to tell you how he trademarked the "shave-and-a-haircut-six-bits" rhythm and how the stones and the beatles and the who and the u-2 and the thems and the thoses and the theses and the thisses and the thats and the wombats and the cats in the hats all picked up on it and made lots of money while he didn't and that was just the nature of showbiz back then i guess it's changed because i know there's some out there that's done quite well for themselves but i'd rather listen to what bo diddley did than the pisspoor shit that clearchannel spoonfeeds the bovine masses like worms and grubs chewed into a frothy warm pulp by the momma bird who then pukes it down the open gaping shrieking beaks of her unformed empty young and i really liked bo's "say man" and so did my father, i think it was that song and the humor in it--as well as in ray charles' "it shoulda been me" that opened my dad's heart and mind up to black music in no time at all he was listening to and loving lightnin' hopkins along with his glenn gould's goldberg variations we all liked mahalia jackson too i still have all this on vinyl and i still listen to it and you know what?

it's all still so fucking great ......

i wish i could say the same about our political processes ..... okay, so i'm just a guitar player who just happened to spend way too much time in grad school, but i honestly think what with a preposterous unilateral illegal immoral invasion of a sovereign nation that never posed any threat to us, an invasion based on lies and deceptions facilitated by a compliant media; the systematic plundering of this country and others under the guise of "privatization;" the collapse of civil rights; the royal assfucking new orleans got, first by a hurricane, then by the bush administration; the politicization of all governmental functions, from the epa to the fda and beyond; the staggering fiscal debacle politely referred to as "the mortgage crisis" facilitated by the government and the fed with no accountability and halliburton and blackwater legalizing murder and assassination with no accountability not to mention institutionalizing torture for chrissake and that's the shit frosting on the republicans' poopoo pudding of bush's "legacy" don't you think there could have been some mention of these by democratic hopefuls in the runup to the nomination? don't you think our democratic presidential hopefuls might have targeted some of the republicans who have been screwing the pooch with such vim and such vigor, rather than adopting some republican talking points like "i'm going to level iran" or "there were some good things that came out of reagan's tenure" in what i can only presume to be shameless pandering to the vast sea of unlettered ignorant unwashed cocksuckers that ran blindly, like lemmings to a fucking cliff and, leaping off screaming "wendy! i can fly!" got us into this fucking mess in the first place?

let me be really clear about this: nothing good came out of reagan and his tenure .... he was a cretinous retard--like so many republican presidents--whose adminstration was characterized by illegal wars; massive theft and looting; corruption; venality, et al ..... like so many republican administrations .... reagan had a dead muskrat for a brain, howdy doody's hair, cunts for eyes, and a sphincter for a mouth .... and those were his positive attributes ....

let me go one step further here ..... you know how mccain and clinton et al keep saying how iran has got to stop its aspirations for nuclear weapons? how they pose a major threat? like they'll destabilize the region which--thank god--we're keeping stable and peaceful if it only weren't for those darned old iranians and of course that nasty old al quaeda in iraq which never was in iraq before we got there if it even is now because saddam didn't like them and you know what happened to people he didn't like about the same that happens to people we don't like and .... well, i know this may come as a surprise to you but .... they're all lying .... they're doing it again, like they did before the illegal, immoral, unilateral invasion of a sovereign nation that posed no threat to us which they "justified" by telling blatant falsehoods to an all too eager "media" that tripped over its own flaccid dick to should "wolf!" "WOLF!" "W-W-W-W-W-W-W-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-L-F!" and we had a monologue like "okay, saddam .... if you don't show us the weapons of mass distraction we're going to kick your ass ...."

"but i don't have any .... the u.n. inspectors can tell you that ...."

"liar liar pants on fire ..... if you don't produce 'em we're gonna really kick your ASS! nyaaa nyaaa nyaa nyaaaa nyaaaaaa ....."

i'm now going to paraphrase scott ritter, the ex-marine unscom inspector who was in iraq prior to the illegal immoral etc. and whom i respect and whom i tend to listen to rather than, say, judith miller, and he says that their weapons program stopped in in '03, something corroborated by u.n. inspectors; he points out that iran is a theocracy, which means that their leader is not ahmedinajad, but rather is the ayatollah khomeini, who has stated that nuclear weapons are anathema to islam (i know; i know .... it's much easier to believe a pope or ... ha ha ... pat robertson .... than an ayatollah, isn't it?); he points out that ahmedinajad is not "the decider;" it's khomeini; their nuclear program is for generating power, and he doesn't mean political power and .... on and on and on and on and on, ad nauseam, and why you should have to read this in a column writtten by a vulgar, foul-mouthed guitar player is a tragically sad commentary--in and of itself--on the state of this country and the "media" upon which so many .... ha ha ..... "deciderisions" are made .....

god fucking help us .....

now .... i could expatiate at length about the tasks facing obama as he seeks to unite a divided and embittered democratic party that you'd think should have everything sewn up in the bag but being democrats i think they'll settle down on their knees, open their mouths, and engorge the flaccid republican stalk but i won't .....

i'm going to listen to bo diddley's "i'm a man ....."

there never was any question about that, was there?

next: dr. pete drop tunes his guitar

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

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