No Truth And No Consequences

the boys will be four years old in a month and a half and it's past the time that they started learning that actions have consequences .... these are important lessons: you create your moral compass when you learn, for example, that setting fire to the cat and cornholing the dog is not socially acceptable--unless you're a republican, in which case it's encouraged, as is necrophilia .... there's another part to the equation of children learning their own behavioral lessons, of dealing with the outcomes of the choices they make: these are the experiences that gear one up to be proactive in adulthood; acquiring that sense of self, that locus of control, is no guarantee of success--not in this country of the plutocratic "level playing field" of which our little georgie bush is a prime example--but it certainly makes for a more "complete" person, a more balanced person, the kind of person i'm guessing .... ha ha .... we'd all like to "have a beer with ..... "

a long time ago i had an attack trained guard dog; duchess angelica von gordo (dusty for short) was remarkably well trained (and a dog of infinite joy) but every now and then she'd push limits .... children, like dogs, need to test boundaries and push limits, but--like dogs--they are reassured when they know where those boundaries are .... my boys are pretty good with me being the alpha dog; the hard part is training mommy: she gets stressed when they start crying and shrieking, and lets the leash go just to shut them up .... this is counter-productive, of course; i tell her that all it'll take is six weeks of them shrieking before they learn that adults are adults, a small investment considering that they'll be living with us for the next forty years ....

the point of this isn't how smart i am, or how being a behavioral psychologist put me on this track a long time ago: the point is, i'm glad my kids are too young to read the "newspapers" because, if they did, they'd see that there are no consequences for bad choices made by big businesses or that there are no paybacks for the asshole behavior perpetrated by our politicians .... did you hear me shrieking when that fucking wrinkled old prune (he's a turbo prune; just thinking about him makes me shit) liebermann got to keep the chairmanship of the homeland security commission after pushing mccain for president? after cornholing kittens and being a turncoat kike and an apostate yid and eating babies? after being the first to step up and sanctimoniously whine about bill clinton getting a hum job? after being the biggest piece of shit we've seen since the brontosaurus lumbered through the antedeluvian swampy bogs, dumping colossal loads dinosaur doodoo into the torpid turgid tides .... yes, that fuckeating joe lieberman; no consequences for being a turncoat, a traitor, a dickhead, a feces eating moron, and a balless sack of shit .....

but wait! there's more!

wall street takes no consequences for actions, but why should they? why shouldn't they get bailed out--at our expense--after they couldn't bilk any more people out of any more money and .... oh .... they're still bilking us out of money, and we've been gifted with a "money czar," paulsen, who says "i'm not sure what we're going to do or how we're going to do it but we're going to throw money after some money that disappeared or something and then we'll throw some more money into a few banks so they can buy smaller banks and then we'll have fewer banks but they'll be bigger banks and no money will go to people who took out bad mortgages and are losing their homes because they're the reason we're having these problems anyway if only they'd read the microscopic print and had ph.d.'s in economics they'd have known that the mortgage offers they were bombarded and harried and harassed with were spurious and they shouldn't have taken them out and getting something for nothing is the american dream and i wrote all this down on my three page proposal anyway that congress had eighteen minutes to read because we didn't want the economy to tank and i've got mine so fuck you anyway" and where does that leave detroit?

some people were complaining about the big 3's ceo's flying into washington on their private jets ... is there a problem here? like they're going to take a fucking greyhound? i don't care about the private jets; if we're going to get sanctimonious about that then we should have been bitching about mccain owning twelve of them or all the politicians who fly around on corporate lears, like they're not going to kick back favors for the free ride and it always staggers me how cheaply americans'll sell themselves out hey i'm an elected representative and i'll suck a big corporate cock for a plane ride vladimir ilyich lenin said that capitalists'd sell their hangman the rope with which to hang them and old v.i. wasn't that far wrong you want nylon or manila hemp and when you think about detroit and how disingenuous they are "oooooooo .... we're just giving the people what they want" and "oooooooooooooo ........ who could have seen this coming? we had no idea" and "oooooooooo ..... we're just the unfortunate victims of circumstance" like 68% of the cars purchased in the mid- to late 70s weren't small imports like honda and toyota and datsun and bmw and volkswagen? like we didn't have an energy crisis back then? like they haven't had over thirty years to build better, more efficient cars that got better gas mileage than a model t and i don't mean hummers or the new aesthetic which has rear side windows so small you can't even see out of them boy that's a great idea driving blind must be a reflection of detroit's management style they had their butts kicked back then don't you remember chrysler getting bailed out for the first time? ooooooooooo, lee iacocca said; i'll have to fire all the workers if you don't bail me out so .... ha ha ... i can sell the company to daimler benz .... ha ha .... who now are offering the "people" what they want a car that's "just plain meaner" which is something i look for when i go out to buy an automobile i want something that's really fucking mean, and i mean REALLY fucking mean i want scythes spinning on my hubcaps just like ben hur's chariot chopping up unwary pedestrians slicing and dicing sidewalk strollers and making hamburger out of hapless dogs and i want 500 fucking horsepower in the cocksucker because that's what i need when i drive down to the supermarket to buy a gallon of milk which costs even more than gasoline these days what the fuck are they feeding the cows? depleted uranium and cocaine?

nah .... cain't be cocaine; thanks to the .... ha ha ..... "war on drugs" cocaine's cheaper and more readily available than ever before .....

and what really smokes my kippers is when i hear all these fucking "pundits" boy do i hate that word and what it represents and the people who actually think it's meaningful to be a shit fountain they're saying "harrrummmmphhhh ..... ahem .... well ..... the real problem is the unions that's the REAL problem why they want health care and you know how expensive that is and why should we ever pay our workers a pension they should be fucking grateful they're even getting a salary" and what they're really saying is, that asshole abraham lincoln, what kinda republican was he? he must've been drunker'n a motherfucker when he freed all them slaves that's what a vital competitive capitalist economy needs these days to be effective a nice slave labor force for christ fucking sakes it's working great in china and in florida .....

i get so tired of tabloid journalism: jen this and jen that and brad this and tom that and angie this and poofie that and hillary this and barack that and sarah this and why am i not surprised that sarah's our new fucking darling with book offers and tv offers and talk show offers and why don't we just get it over with and have the bitch do a porn film with her fucking a moose and last week all the pundits were going "ooomphhh .... ahem ..... wellllllllll ....... look at that obama everyone he's putting into office is a clinton person sure they're really really smart but where's the change he promised us and it's going to be clinton all over again and if hillary gets into office she'll take it over hey heard the one about the hillary bucket of fried chicken two small breasts and really big thighs ha ha no offense intended ha ha" and it makes me fucking choke on intestinal blood watching and hearing these talking used tampons spatter clots everywhere .....

let's think briefly about the bush "administration:" the same war criminals that promulgated genocide under reagan, they got back into office and did the same old shit, like sanctioning mass murder in central america with cia trained and funded hit squads; when that wasn't enough he pulled out his daddy's rolodex and recreated the cabinet that sold biological weapons to saddam and the press said, "well .... okay .... maybe he's not .... ahem .... all that smart but .... he's got really great advisors so we don't have to worry about anything" and the best thing they could say about condoleeeeeezzzzzzzza rice was "hey, she plays piano really well and she plays pieces by really old dead white men isn't she great?" and here we go, all over again, the press sharpening up its knives to hack and hew at the clintons, all over again, any clinton'll do and while they're doing that the bush "environmental protection agency" is, among other things, sanctioning oil drilling next to arches and canyonlands national monuments in utah which are about my favorite places on all of this blue earth and i've been all over boy when i go to moab to mountain bike i sure want to see a pall of smoke drifting over arches along with the sixty new coal fired plants that got the green light jesus no wonder i can't get out of bed in the morning it's not just back pains it's these colossal pains in my fucking ass can you really believe how trivial our press is, how superfluous and inconsequential our highly paid columnists are (i'm sure this is even more true for television, but .... thank god .... i don't watch televsion, so i'm spared fox news and bill o'reilly and sean hannity and chris matthews and all those other chattering parrots i shouldn't say that ! i take that back! i love parrots! i love parrots!) squawk squawk squawk squawk squawk squawk ..........

don't you find it charming how the republicans sprinkled nine hundred billion dollars on the financial "institutions" that they'd deregulated so they could "mission accomplish" the world economy but are balking at giving 25 mil to detroit which tangentially employs hundreds of thousands of people? i'd hazard a guess that they'll leave this stinking shitpile for obama to contend with, another kind of "fuck you boy and the horses you're riding in on" gift: if he ponies up the bucks he's a "socialist" and if he doesn't he's betraying american industry ....

my real question is, what--other than being a nominal democrats--did bill and hillary (and al gore) do to gain the enduring animosity of our "media?"

next: dr. pete gets a hummer

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

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