Sarcoptic Mange and You

yes, it's me again, with more media commentary .....

bleauughghghhhhhrrrggggggHEEEEEEunngngngngn speeeeeeeewwwwwwiiieeeeeeeeeeee gag ag ag aga agagagagagaga wheeeeUUUUUUUULLLLLP ....

here's consecutive headlines for you:

"Report Says Pentagon Manipulated Intel"
"Pentagon Says Pre-War Intel Not Illegal"
"Gates: U.S. Can Prove Iran's Iraq Role"

"Deadly Bombs Made In Iran!"

"I'm convinced from what I've seen that the Iranians are supplying and are giving assistance to the people in Iraq who are killing American soldiers," said independent Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut."

do i need to comment on this?

on the other hand, i have ..... four fingers and a thumb .....

no .... seriously ... ha ha ..... some of our intrepid journalists are exhibiting some .... shall we say ...... skepticism?

an e-mail with presidential iq's recently made the rounds ..... the high was bill clinton with an (estimated) iq of 184; jimmy carter was estimated at 176, close to his stated iq of 174 .... of course you know who was low, at 94 ..... so what are we supposed to make of this? ha ha, we're better than bush, we're all smarter, democrats are smarter than republicans and bush is a real dummy; is that the take?

jesus, i hope not .... the take i get is, we must be the stupidest people on the face of the earth to tolerate and venerate such abysmal cretins, let alone allow them in positions of power ..... i've said it before: republicans just scrape the bottom of the barrel when they come to offering us "authority figures:" richard nixon; dan quayle; spiro agnew; john mitchell; george bush; gerald ford; ronald regan ..... we'd be better of with wax effigies from madame tussaud's .....

and progressive intellectuals have a new meme they're pushing .... it's that conservatives are "authoritarian ...." eeeeeeeeeeeee ...... no ...... please ...... no, don't say that ..... not ..... not "authoritarian ....."

how about "assholes?" would that work?

works for me .......

a new medical study notes that marijuana has significant effect on pain and counteracts side effects of chemotherapy .... the government responded immediately by saying that, even if that were true, "smoke can harm you ...." this from a government that subsidizes tobacco and let the tobacco industry walk away from punitive damages and liabilities .....

another correspondent just wrote me, saying that anna nicole was dumber'n a cactus and a joke, but if that's the case the joke's on us ..... america followed her around like kitties after an opened can of puss'n boots ..... oh, we're americans and we need celebs! ooooohh .... we're americans and we need gossip! ooooooooo ..... we're americans and we need a virtual reality because our lives suck so bad and we're so fat and stupid we need to have an entire publishing industry that prints "brad" and "jen" and "tom" and who the fuck is jen, anyway? my mountain bike's better looking than she is; what the fuck has she done that has her in every checkout aisle in the fucking land? along with "800 ways to a sensual armpit" and "what he secretly wants" and "2,754 new ways to get laid" and "ping-pong balls and your pussy" and "tit jobs of the stars ....."

jeeeziz fuck ......

newsweek has paris hilton on its cover ..... who the fuck is paris hilton? why is she on the cover of newsweek? is this why newsweek is racked up next to the "brad 'n' jen weekly" next to the "tom and who-the-fuck-ever-and-their-child-weekly?"

who the fuck is newsweek?

why am i asking you this?

you know what i'd like to see? you know? you don't?

well, then .... with your kind permission i'll endeavor to persevere:

with our death toll at 3,174, although we don't do body counts and who's counting unless they want to encourage the terrorists by letting them know that they're actually killing "the troops," i'd like to see something like "troop death" or "blown-up" or "bits 'n' pieces" or something that tells the stories of all the soldiers who get killed .... "i couldn't get a job in my depressed town because the mills closed because the economy crashed and the convenience store wasn't hiring and the local service station shut down and daddy was shootin' crystal meth and beatin' mom and i wanted to get out of texas and they tol' me i could he'p my country because saddam had personnally flowed the planes into new york 'n' anyway they'd welcome us with flours and the recruitin' guy took me to a titty bar 'n' bought me drinks and betty lou danced on ma lap and they tol' me i woun't be in no danjer so why am i dead?" or "i honored a country that showed me no honor and wouldn't buy armor for my vehicle and they picked me up with a sponge ....."

that's thirty-one hundred stories to keep the tabloid press pretty fuckin' busy for a while .... with more where that came from ..... and you could have sidebar columns from contract torturers: "how to make your child confess ....."

i tried listening to bush's "press interview" yesterday ..... i couldn't do it ...... why doesn't somebody just take his toys away? petulant, spoiled, whining, tangential, circumlocuitous, deranged, psychotic, delusional ....... this man couldn't decide his way out of a used tampon ......

and i'm thrilled with the steely resolve of our elected officials who are just laying it all out on the line to pass a non-binding resolution expressing "disaproval" of how badly this cretin and his administration have rump humped the country, the iraqis, and the world ..... oooooooooo, naughty, naughty ..... oooooo, you've been a bad boy! oooooooo ...... we don't approve ......

i heard someone say how concerned george's handlers are when he gives unscripted interviews, how awkward it is when he gets cut adrift from his leash and loses sight of his talking points .....

dream on, dream on ..... they couldn't care less ..... nothing happens ...... this fool is baying at the moon while scratching fitfully at his sarcoptic mange, and it doesn't make a fucking bit of difference .....

i like how the press is always talking about "the run-up to the war," like it was some kind of macho, muscular, athletic event that took coordination and skill and dexterity ..... it wasn't a run-up .... it was a fucking cattle drive ...... it was sheep herding ..... yo! bessie, move along, now ..... shep, go git that one over there; she leavin' the herd ..... bring her on back to whar she's safe .....

mooooooooooooooo moooooooooooooooooooooooooooo moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ble-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-t ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aaaaaaa moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

next: dr. pete gets pissed