Aaaaaa-CHOOOOOOOO!

here are some of this last week's fun headlines, and some comments on them .... by the way, this column was originally entitled "fuck harry reid;" now that i read the column i'm not sure why seeing as there's no mention of him but .... at least i'm thinkin' about him, and with all the respect he so richly deserves .... anyway:

Obama Moves to Bar Release of Detainee Abuse Photos: Saying the release of photos of soldiers abusing captives in Iraq and Afghanistan would endanger U.S. troops, the president reversed a decision made last month.

Senate Rejects Limit on Credit-Card Interest Rates .... gee .... there's a surprise ..... the same shameless group of ass-garglers that turned the credit card companies loose on the consumer in the first place; that legalized usury and made bankruptcy incredibly difficult--unless, of course, you're a car company sucking up taxpayer dollars; .... where's that much-vaunted "populist rage" now that we could use some?

Social Security Set To Run Out of Money .....

they're at it again, not that they every stop ..... fear, lies, deception; manipulation, betrayal, these cocksuckers won't take their eyes off of your social security funds until they can put it away in their pockets ......

Obama Planning to Keep Tribunals for Detainees .... what do we have here? bush lite?

Health Insurers To Kick Back 2 Trillion Dollars Over A Ten-Year Period .... mmmmm .... if they're leaving two trill on the table, makes you kind of think that they've been gouging the living shit out of us, doesn't it .....

i can't believe that we're still having a discussion about "torture ....." i mean, "harsh techniques ...." i mean "enhanced techniques ....." i mean " what republicans and christians are all in favor of and democrats'll go along with if they think no one's looking" why am i not surprised that "christians" are in favor of beating the shit out of people and nearly killing them time and time again, over and over and over again because they don't say what you'd like them to say because "AUUGHGHGHGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB" isn't the same as "saddam hussein personally flew one of the planes into the twin towers just remember infidel dog while bush and cheney've been keeping you safe from terror attacks about 5,000 troops have been killed compared to the 3,000 who died in the towers not a bad exchange for safety GLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB" christians are conditioned to hurting the fuck out of people because they worship a loving god who will burn you in agony forever and ever if you don't accept his peaceful love and .....

GLUGLUGLUGLUGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBBLEAUGHGHGHGHGHGHG .......

you just have to learn how to live with inconsistencies, with dissonance, and with stupid fucking people who by and large wouldn't even qualify as landfill; can we just pave 'em over?

this whole "what did nancy pelosi know and when did she know it oh my GOD! she knew all the time and never said anything and OOOOOO she's a hypocrite and that makes torturing the shit out of people okay because we're republicans and we get to do that kind of shit" is a straw man, but the media's complicit in this ghost chase .... you know, i'm still waiting to hear what diane feinstein was referring to when she said, just before the IIUIOASNTPUNTW, "if i were to vote the way my constituency wanted i would vote against authorizing IIUIOASNTPUNTW, but because nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah i know things that you don't i know things that you don't, i'm going to vote to authorize IIUIOASNTPUNTW and then i can join the ranks of war profiteers like any good american would .....

jeez, i don't know ..... does anyone in this country think about what they're being fed? dog food? sheep food? we can't show us pictures of us torturing people even though they were leaked to an australian newspaper three years ago (i'm citing hearsay here; does anyone know anything about this? the unifying theme of the pictures is said to be "blood .... there's lots of blood ..everywhere" ...) because it'd put our troops in harm's way and antagonize our horrid adversaries who want to hurt our troops ..... i figure if you want to get troops out of harm's way, bring 'em back alive ..... plus, isn't the point of being a troop hurting people? and if you hurt people don't you just think you might run the risk of getting hurt right back? and i don't really think that showing the world more photos'll antagonize those detergents ... i mean, insurgents .... so they think "let's go kill some americans" .... isn't that what they're thinking already? they hate us because they hate our freedoms, which obviously includes the freedom to torture people whenever we want to and the freedom to be psychotic lying assholes and dervish dancers in the mad spin to justify what complete shits we are and the contempt and disdain with which we're held as lying fucks .....

besides, didn't "the surge" take care of all that shit?

ha ha .... just kidding of course ... ha ha ....

can we get over our obama love fest, please? let's see: we're keeping up the bush tribunals, we're falling over our tiny little dicks to pony up another 97 billion dollars to bomb wedding parties in afghanistan, we're not prosecuting lawbreakers .... well, let me back up a minute here .... we're not politician lawbreakers and we're not prosecuting corporate lawbreakers because corporations contribute huge sums to politicians whose primary function is to stay in positions of power so they can get more money and more power so they can stay in positions of power so they can make more money and get more power but we will prosecute the shit out of you if you're a n*gg*r and you have some c*caine then it's nellie bar the door and don't you think if insurers are going to kick back two trillion dollars they've been gouging us for years if they can afford to kick back that kind of money and still make the profits they like to make to feed their shareholders and give their ceo's the kind of golf vacations, hair treatments, and golden parachutes they so richly deserve because after all they're the best and the brightest it's a good thing we still have grade schools that we can cut funding to and thank god for health care programs for children we don't need them when we're in a fiscal crisis so we can always take their pennies away to give to big banks fuck the kids and the poor why don't they get a fucking job and pull themselves up by their bootstraps don't tell me they can't afford fucking shoes ..... anybody that can afford two hundred and forty bucks for basketball shoes with a logo can ante up the bucks for shoes with bootstraps .... doesn't nike make 'em?

i don't know .... my crystal balls are cloudy these days and i can't tell what the future holds, although i tend towards darkness and disillusionment, so i'm reluctant to think that the amount of press given to the torturers might actually breach the indifference of the american sheeple, who seem to be far more concerned with jen and angie and .... gasp! .... abortions ..... well, you know what they say: don't want an abortion?

don't fucking get one .....

what do you think? think we'll see some of the boosh biggies hauled up on war crimes trials? set up in the hague, charged with crimes against humanity?

the only thing i can add is, i'm temporarily out from underneath the bed but .....

my dust bunnies are lonely .... and i think i had a better view down there .....

next: dr. pete sneezes .....

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

2 Comments

Candleman says:

The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new economic stimulus package.
The Allergist voted to scratch it,but the Dermatologist advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastrenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under misconception.
The Ophthalmologist considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled"Over my dead body!"while the Pediatricians said,"Oh,Grow up"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea madness,while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow and the Plastic Surgeons said,"This puts a whole new face on the matter".
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward,but the Urologist were pissed off at the whole idea.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists did not have the heart to say no.
In the end the Proctologists won out,leaving the entire decision up to the Butt-holes in Washington.

Submitted by Candleman on Tue, 07/15/2014 - 16:12
Candleman says:

Hey Pete heck ya may wanna take up candle making.It settles the nerves.I stopped watching the news feel much better.I watch it once a week if I like it or nor just to piss myself off.Dust bunny's huh always thought those were ghost turds.The only way to stay sane these days are to be insane.I just started reading your editorials I see that word I think the worst.I'm so glad I have a sense of humor or I'd start padding my room to.You should get out more often,like play bikeweek or something.Love to see one of YOUR shows,Must have see ya with ste Starship in the 70s was the last time.Wow almost 40 years need a good dose of your intense presents.Think about it a wall of wax.Just a good idea never has been done.
Candleman

Submitted by Candleman on Tue, 07/15/2014 - 16:13

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