Impregnation Without Representation

i know i've said this before, but i'm finding it increasingly difficult to write anything that's relevant, enlightening, and not purely scatological .... it's hard, and it doesn't seem to get any easier ..... i know i've said this before: i'd like to write an editorial consisting of something other than "oh my GOD are we being FUCKED the stupid have taken over the WORLD and are driving us to PERDITION to the NTH DEGREE?" ..... the most benign metaphor i can come up with is, "they" are like a drowning man who, in his panic and dying frenzy, would drag down to the death anyone that might save him .....

do i need to elaborate as to who "they" might be? in this era of global warming and global climate change? in this time of fiscal improprieties that have brought world economies to their trembling fucking knees? when we're offered poisoned food to eat, poisoned water to drink, and poisoned air to breathe? and the most important issues we have to contend with are whether or not we should allow same sex marriage ..... or what's going on with jen .....

i didn't think so ....

anyway ..... i can't quite remember when i started writing this .... mmmm ..... "editorial;" whenever it was, it was a while back, and these were the headlines that'd grabbed me that day:

Lawmakers' Ties to Toyota Questioned at Start of Inquiries/ Government watchdog groups are questioning whether deep financial and personal connections between lawmakers and Toyota could taint inquires and

Doctor Training Aided by Drug Industry Cash/More than half the nation's residency programs to train doctors in internal medicine accepted drug industry money, a survey found.

i remember george shithead bush, before he grabbed the helm of the ship of state and drove it foundering onto the rocks, saying how he was going to usher in a culture of responsibility .... well, he did that, all right: bush and the same tired old gang of cocksuckers are responsible for fucking near everything: failed wars and failed policies; looting the world's treasuries; bankrupting this country; turning it into a third world fourth rate tinpot despot nation that tortures people and thinks that's okay; turning the "rule of law" into the "drool of law," where supreme court "justices" are such corporate lackeys that they play snowball with corporate semen as the "media" coats its vinyl bib in a glossy sheen of slobber in its complacent complicity .... the problem is that, while they're responsible for everything, they're not admitting culpability ..... they're responsible but they take no consequences for their depredations and malfeasance; we do, but they don't .....

for a brief moment i've thought, well, americans are so stupid, so fucking ignorant, so gullible, so eager to be manipulated by the thugs that are fucking them in the ass that they deserve what they get but the problem is, i don't deserve this and my children don't deserve this and i'm sure you don't deserve this and here we are, taking it in the shorts because of the ineptitude, the moral lassitude, and the corruption of a "political party" that seeks "buy-partisanship" and concensus on what the next round of perks and concessions to corporations and the upper .00005476835% who control 98.8674359072647921457% of the wealth in this country might be; yes, folks, america is right on the corner and right on the price and we're so cr-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-zy that we're just givin' it all away so come on down, bring the wife, bring the kids, bring your corporate lobbyists, bring your special interest groups 'n' ya won't go 'way empty handed! .....

then there were these headlines:

Destroying CIA Tapes Wasn't Opposed, Memos Say: The chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee in 2003 did not object to destroying videotapes of brutal interrogations by the C.I.A., according to documents.

and john yoo and jay bybee are strolling around, serene and unbothered and well paid .....

i know, i know; i tend to perseverate on the unpleasant; i know, i know, i should just look ahead and not back but ..... i can't help but be bothered by my homeland resurrecting the spanish inquisition and .... well, let me back up here a minute: i'm bothered by having a homeland in the first place but .... the reluctance of america to confront the horrors of its most recent past is disgusting, and it will exact a heavy price ..... the germans had their fatherland and their time of infamy, but they will not forget it because they confront it regularly .... der spiegel regularly runs front page articles delving into the calumnies of the third reich, but the most americans get is jen 'n' brad 'n' angelina 'n' i don't know because i don't give a shit .....

CLOSING OF REST STOP STIRS ANGER IN ARIZONA

"The people of Arizona kept their upper lips stiff when officals mortgaged off the state's executive office tower. They remained calm as lawmakers pondered privatizing death row.

But then the state took away their toilets, and residents began to revolt"

well, it's easy to say that the people of arizona are revolting--because they keep electing john mccain; because they tolerate him and his bullshit economics; because they tolerate a system that's proven, time and time again, to be fallacious, dangerous, fatal, catastrophic, and evil ...... now they're whining because there's no pee stop on the drive from flagstaff to phoenix : "by the time i get a penis/i'll be dripping ....."

what a bunch of assholes, and fuck the people who write this shit ..... hey, remember back around the time we transitioned from Bush The Cretinous to Obama The Poseur, there was all this talk about a "populist revolt?" people who were upset about 800 billion dollars given to the companies that trashed a faulty system in the first place? and i said--and yes, i told you then and i'm telling you so again now--that nothing would come of that? because americans are conditioned to not bite the hand that fucks them? but to kiss the dicks that do? and to suck the shit off the knuckles on the hand that's just fisted the living bejeesus out of 'em .... and now arizona's outlawed hispanics ..... good goin', guys; good goin' ...... don't tell me this is a "compassionate nation;" we were founded by sociopathic religious murderers who were so obnoxious and intolerant they had to leave their homes and find a new place where they could fuck with and oppress others ..... they came here and we're upholding their tradition .....

and speaking of appalling assholes, now there's all this rhetoric about populist anger from the tea parties .... well, folks: tea parties are for little girls (a flip of the kangatail to lisa rios): these people are chickenshits who were scared to death of the t-shirts some folks wore to bush' "town hall rallies for the new neo-nazis" but now want to carry guns when they see a "democratic president ...." these are the folks that tolerated eight years of a government that spied on them; tapped their phones; opened their mail; read their e-mails; gave away their money to the upper .00000000000000265463 percent; gave away the rest of their money to blackwater, kellog brown and root, and halliburton; banrupted the country; disappeared eight billion dollars in freshly printed one hundred dollar bills in one week in iraq and thought nothing of it but won't tolerate funding schools or child care or healthcare; killed a million people but they were brown so it doesn't count; and now they're frightened to death that people without health insurance might get it ..... "ooooo .... pleeze don't straten muh teef!" "pleeze donet kure my wombatulosis! .... muh daddy died of it while he wuz fukken muh sister an' i wanna dah of it whahl ahm fokken her tew!"

does anyone remember, back around november of 2001, that cretinous evil retard bush was startin' ta roll with his whore on terrrerrrr and he gave a "speech" where he said "the taliban doesn't give women healthcare" and here we are with the "democrats" who have bargained away the health access rights and abilities of 51% of the population and this should tell you when i started trying to write this column back when "health care reform" was an "issue" and that fucking asswipe bart stupak was holding up legislation because he was a man of principles and his principles were based on his disdain and hatred for women who oddly enough are a majority in this country not that majorities mean much not when i heard two "news" pieces on N[aked] P[ustulent] R[abbits} back to back with the first one saying "64% of the "american people" are in favor of single payer health care" followed by bitch mcconnell minority leader saying "amerkans don' waw-unt he'th cay-uh 'n' we hay-uv tuh give amerkans whut they waw-unt" so i'm confused is george bush saying that our senators are one and the same terrarrwrists just like the taliban because both of them want to deny health care to women?

my god! george bush and i are actually agreed on something!

who'da thunk it ! ! ! ? ? ? ! ! !-

while i'm thinking about it, isn't it time we had a new crop of cute little ribbon bumperstickers for our large suv's? i mean, we went through the whole "support our troops" thing; those were popular for a good long time but they seem to be faded and fading now, and it's time we had a new bandwagon for the public to hop on, a new cause to support, and here it is: one bumper sticker will be a black ribbon, as black as black lungs, that says "support the coal miners" and the other will be a ribbon made out thousand dollar bills that says "support the corporations" and ......

there are some logical conclusions we can come to, and i'd like to see us arrive at them really fast: if corporations now have the rights of people, and they do thanks to our "supreme court" which fortunately isn't made up of revisionist or activist judges but just composed of strict interpreters of constitutional law as long as their preconceptions coincide with the moral imperative of attila the hun, john wayne gacy, and scrooge mcduck, then shouldn't massey energy the owner-operator of the west virginia coal mine where twenty-one minors just lost their lives in a mine that had a record number of documented violations be brought up on manslaughter charges? negligent homicide? i think if we executed a corporation or two or, by proxy, their ceo's, we might see some more responsible behavior on their part ....

but ... ha ha ... i've a rich fantasy life, you know? and hey, were you wondering about this editorial's title? check it out again, and if i need to i'll explain it to you .... it means that 1) women are so stupid they're not qualified to be responsible for their own bodies or body functions, although viagra is covered by health insurance, so men have to make decisions for them, and 2)

we are all being royally fucked and neither we nor the interests or beliefs we have are represented in our "government ....."

wasn't there a revolution a while back because of this?

next:

dr. pete goes poopoo

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

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