Fun With Dick And Jane

ook, dick, look .... puff is caught up a tree ....

meow meow meow, puff; meow meow meow ....

oh, jane, puff says "meow meow meow" .....

spot says "woof woof woof ...."

meow meow meow ..... woof woof woof .....

jesus h. shit .... aren't there any adults left in this country?

this kind of infantile nattering is about on a par with the rhetoric from the the thing in the white house; this kind of puerile reportage is on a par with the new york times and what passes for news coverage, right jane? yo .... jane .... why don't we saunter off to the corner bar and hammer down martinis because the "adults" here are completely regressed and about as useful as tits on a fish .....

no, really ..... it's true ...... yet another day in another week in another month in an "administration" that will live in infamy, a week that's seen the murder of habeus corpus, that's seen the military commissions act pass without a murmur or a ripple in the press; the highest number of american casualties in what's-that-place for i don't know how long ..... why, the number of military deaths--including those of the mighty coalition's forces--in eeeeee-rock now exceeds the loss of life in the twin towers ......

let's not even make mention of plus or minus 650,000 eeeeeeeee-rockeeeees, with a margin of error that goes from a low of around 400,000 to a high of around 900,000 ......

gosharootiees ..... soddddom who's-sane? it took him twenty years to kill 300,000 eye-rockees .... but sheee-it .... he was just a rughaid 'n' didn't have our know-how .......

funny, how some papers are saying that our occupation's gone on longer than our involvement in the first world war, or the second world war, or the korean war .... but there's no mention made of our involvement in vietnam which, if my memory serves me well, went on from our first "advisors" cropping up around 1955 or '56, right after the french took it in their bermudas in dien bien phu, to our hasty helicopter flights off the american embassy rooftop april 30, 1975 ..... shit, that's only twenty years of fun 'n' games;: in the historical perspective that ain't much more'n a comma, ya know?

or perhaps george meant "coma," which better describes the state of the union, the american peeple, and our "media ...."

i don't want to draw envidious parallels between one debacle and senseless charnel house and another, but ..... back then richard "tricky dicky mr. cloth coat let's make those gooks think i'm so crazy they won't want to fuck with me now can i have another drink and fuck those jews" nixon, along with henry "gosh now isn't it ironic that this mass-murderer gets a nobel peace prize; is that because there's nothing as peaceful as a dead man?" kissinger, told america that they had a "secret plan" to bring "peace with honor" to vietnam, and all america had to do was .....

re-elect nixon .....

but there was nothing political about that, and the war went on for a couple more years, and there was no secret plan other than doing whatever they needed to do to win an election and keep republicans in power, but there were lots of "secret" bombings of cambodia and laos and you know what happened in cambodia, the killing fields and all, and lots of "secret" incursions of sovereign nations and i don't know how many more americans died in those two extra years, let alone how many vietnamese died ....

but it wasn't political and it was all aboveboard ......

kind of like now, what with james "i'm the bush family's black bag man and hey don't you recount those ballots any more they've been counted enough by republican operatives to clearly give little george here the presidency" baker saying he's got a "secret plan" to start staging troop withdrawals from ee-rock but he doesn't want to politicize anything and so these secret plans that sound like "cut 'n' run" to me, sound like a "flip-flop" for the "stay the course" boys to me, well .... they can't be revealed ....

until after the mid-term election .....

doesn't it strike you as ..... well ..... unconscionable, that we've had the highest casualty rate in .... no, let me back up here and say, isn't it unconscionable that people--americans and iraqis--are dying like flies in a tipped-over port-a-potty left out in the hot sun, but we have to wait a couple more weeks before we can talk about doing anything to save them which means that .... mmmm ..... how many hundred more folks are gonna take it in the knickers but ..... it's not fucking political?

when is the ineptitude and dishonesty of a political party "not political?" and ..... correct me if i'm wrong, but this is way beyond "not political:" this is immoral and callous and murderous and appalling and horrifying but business as usual for the "culture of life" folks who have so many "moral issues" and are such "moral people" and hey, isn't it about time we started hearing about michael jackson again?

oh, yes, jane; yes it's michael time again .... but ..... and that's not a pun, jane; no, that's not a pun .... perhaps michael's not the one we want to distract the american sheeple with right now, given his prediliction for young boys, a prediliction shared by prominent republicans and even americans, about as dumb as igneous rocks, might draw parallels between one childfucker and another and that wouldn't be good for the gop (grand old pedophiles) right now so howzabout killing another young girl and disappearing her body? boy, that'll suck up media and popular attention for weeks ..... would jon benet do? or do we have to kill a new one?

language is so ..... so ...... critical to sugar coating the shit we're fed daily ..... our "reporters" are telling us that the new "legislation" legalizes "tough techniques" for "interrogation" ..... just come out and say it, you cocksuckers .... why don't we just say "pull their nails out with pliers ...." why don't we just say "hold their heads under water until they've inhaled a pint or two and are praying for death...." why don't we just say "crush their testicles with vice grips, only do it real slow so they can enjoy the experience and we can too ....." howzabout "let's hitch abdul's dick to this generator here and light'm up ....." why doesn't the new york times say "our tough techniques involve smashing our 'enemy combatants which is anyone the republicans don't like and that means you, asshole, if you're thinking of voting for a democrat or belong to any kind of terrorist or subversive organization like greenpeace or the aclu'" in the face, over and over and over and over until your nose is pulped and your eyes are swollen shut and you don't have a fucking tooth left in your head and you can't breathe for the amount of blood you're choking on but we don't have to inform your family or tell you what you're charged with and a lawyer? fuggeddaboutit we don't want no frivolous lawsuits here, nossir so it's kind of like rape, bitch, just relax and enjoy the ride .....

and me, i'm choking on bile ..... and you .... why haven't you ordered your copy of "beyond help!" ....... it'll tell you all this, and more, to a kickin' beat ......

next: dr. pete ups his paxil