Live Stock ... in Bondage

gosh, have we had a week of dog and pony shows ..... wooof wooof wooofffff ..... whinny whicker whufffff ...... wooof wooof wooof ..... pblpblbhoughoughoughough ....

i think that's what horses sound like .... cut me some slack; i bicycle ... i'm not a horse person ....

however, i know what a horse's ass sounds like .... i heard some of the "state of the union" "speech" by our "president ....."

i fortunately sidestepped all the "excitement" about the "super" bowl ..... gosh, what if mick had a "wardrobe misfunction?" wow ... we'd see a sixty-four year old prick .... well, actually we do .... every time he goes on stage ....

i guess he needed more money .....

meanwhile, i'm interested in the reasoned and rational reaction of the muslim community to danish cartoons that came out in .... september of last year .....

it's really hard to editorialize on this stuff .... who can tell the difference between their assholes and our assholes? same kind of uplifting and humane outlook that comes from accepting and integrating the love of god and extending it to your fellow man: hey, BITCH! agree or DIE ..... there's something about monotheistic religions that bring out the fascist asshole in people .... i can't seem to recall any pantheists or animists laying claim to a mandate of omnipotence and correctness, or engaging in genocide, because their neighbors were worshipping the wrong rocks and trees ....

speaking of things dumber than rocks, have you heard any of the "hearings" with "alberto gonzales," our "attorney general," about the "legitimacy" of your "government" and whether it "can" or "cannot" spy ..... on "you?" .......

gosh, i venerate the republican party and the deference it shows the amerkan people, with quality and integrity and honor of appointees it brings to office .... people like .... dan quayle .... men like ..... spiro agnew ..... creatures like .... richard nixon .... attorney generals, upholding the law of the land, fine upstanding men who uphold the rule of law, men of integrity and honor, men like .... john mitchell .... edwin meese .... like ..... john asscroft .....

well, let me back up a minute ...... speaking of "political cartoons," like republican attorney generals, these "political cartoons" appeared back in september .... so, does this mean that it's taken that long for danish papers to get circulation in afghanistan? i'm a "cynical" and "world-weary" man, but it somehow seems to me that yet another "incident" is being manufactured by "governments" and "religious functionaries" who are far more cynical than i'll ever be .... they exploit theirs; i just whine .....

and who would so cynical as to exploit religious intolerance? their assholes? or ours? or both? i can understand the egyptians whipping the masses up into a frothing frenzy, just as i can understand our own cia thinking, gosh, we have to justify king george's 2007 budget, the one that gives the pentagon an increase of 7%, an additional four-hundred-and-fifty billion dollars, the one that makes permanent tax cuts for the extremely fucking disgustingly rich .....

the one that cuts out funding for health care, for education, for anything that a real civilization, with really civilized people, might find useful .......

so let's manufacture some more hysteria to feed to our complacent, placid, bovine, populace ..... because frightened cattle and terrified sheep are .... so much easier to control ..... because terrified cattle and frightened sheep will tolerate abrogations of the constitution and incursions into their civil liberties ......

because livestock that's milling about in their nice comfortable pens will be confused and easily controlled and will watch mick jagger prancing about and won't notice how they're being .....

do i need to go on?

the other thing i find appalling is .... targeting the danes? the danes are now the target of rughead wrath?

well, fuck them .... their sheep are as matted and feces smeared as ours .... the danes were the only country, in europe, during the second world war that--with the exception of finland (now go check your history: finland, because russia was their hereditary enemy and a major threat, was an axis ally) was not complicit in turning over their jews to the nazis ....

so ..... i've been much too busy puking blood to sit down and write the kind of articulate, compelling, intelligent, insightful, hard-hitting, and provocative editorials you've come expect from me .... i just can't type while i'm getting those transfusions .....

and, i'm sorry to say that i have no snappy punchlines ..... i'd like to be able to kid about how inept and incompetent democrats are, how they just can't seem to focus on a cohesive, coherent strategy that would (speaking of danish stories) tell americans, once and for all, that the emperor has no clothes ....

but i can't .... it's pathetic and it's grotesque and it's frustrating and ..... and .... and ........

excuse me while i speed-load my plasma ......

speaking of speed-loading plasma, i'll be taking a sabbatical to recuperate from shoulder surgery ...... i know you're going to miss my wit and wisdom, so .... visit the archives, stay outraged, organize, spend time on the phone calling your representatives ..... you need to learn patience with the differently-abled and tolerance with the obtuse ....

if you're in the bay area, michael and i will be performing our inimitable song stylings this friday, february the 10th, at rountrees, 2618 san pablo avenue, in berkeley ..... doors open 8:30, and we go on at 9 .....

i'm going to miss you all while i'm down .......

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

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