Just Say No

Sacramento, CA ...... Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced today that California would be reducing the quantity of drugs given to death row inmates in their lethal injection.

"Ve're a Christian nation," the governor said; "and drugs are bad for you. Look vat happened to me; see dese teeth?" He added: "Ve don't vant dem to get hurt, and ve don't vant dem to get hooked."

Schwarzenegger said that inmates would be encouraged to buy their own drugs. "Dey chenerally can get better drugs, at better prices, den ve can ..... especially vit dis new Medi-Care drug program. Nobody here understands how dat vorks."

In other late-breaking news, President Bush offended Pakistanis when he used his right hand to wipe himself. "Hey," he said to a group of reporters; "Least I did .... 'n' I din't use no Koran neither."