About Average

here's a recent headline from the washington post: "The President as Average Joe .... Trying to Boost Support, Bush Brings Banter to the People"

why do i keep reading the washington post? gosh, we know it's a tampon for the republican party, but still ..... i keep hoping that the kind of integrity and journalistic testes that led to the watergate expose will .... but then, i still believe in the easter bunny .... sure, i've read the bible .... sure, there's no mention of either "chocolate" or "bunny" in it, but i believe, i believe, i believe ....

but this one really had me barking in the porcelain bowl ..... peter baker, washington post staff writer; sure, he's just another log rolling shill perpetuating the myth of bush as an "average guy," but a fucking headline? on the masthead? ..... why don't you just come out and say it, peter? why don't you just come out and say, sure, i suck shriveled republican cock for nickels .... sure, i'll gargle that flaccid, shrunken scrotum ..... sure, i'll do anything, anywhere, any time; it doesn't matter how degrading or how much body fluid or secreta gets smeared on my body .... i just lap it up and come crawling back, asking for more .....

george bush, the average guy .... gee, and he's a cowboy, too, isn't he? i mean, he's got a ranch, doesn't he? sure, ain't no cows on it and he cain't rahd a hoss, but .....

i don't know 'bout y'all, but i sure want my president, the guy with his finger on the button, to be an average fucking guy ..... oh, yeah! oh, yeah! the terrorists are comin' over the wall, there's nukes flyin' through the air .... it's miller time! ya know, condi? it don't git no bettern' this!

and when the fuck did he become an average guy? born into a dynasty? cushioned by millions of stolen dollars? a stolen education? a stolen election?

wow .... mommy? how can i be average?

while this fecal smear is headlining bush's averageness, joe conason (if you're not reading joe, you should) wrote this headline in salon.com: "Saddam chose to deny inspectors" he continues: Bush repeated this bald-faced lie recently. The cowering press still lets him get away with it, but the public is no longer fooled."

joe goes on to say: "For the third time since the war began three years ago, Bush had falsely claimed that Saddam refused the U.N. weapons inspections mandated by the Security Council. For the third time, he had denied a reality witnessed by the entire world during the four months when those inspectors, under the direction of Hans Blix, traveled Iraq searching fruitlessly for weapons of mass destruction that, as we now know for certain, were not there.

But forget about whether the weapons were there for a moment. The inspectors definitely went to Iraq. They left only because the United States warned them to get out before the bombs started to fall on March 19, 2003. But for some reason the president of the United States keeps saying -- in public and on the record -- that the inspectors weren't there."

let's just use some shorthand here ..... we can tell that joe conason is a "commiesessual," which is a contraction of "communist" and "homosexual," and calling joe a commiessual is the best way we can dismiss or trivialize whatever truth he has to say .... he adds: "[have] the rest of the reporters in the press room become so accustomed to presidential prevarication that they literally cannot hear a stunning falsehood that is repeated over and over again?"

joe doesn't say this, but i will .... can we posit that they're like cringing fucking dogs, that keep coming back to the same tired old vomit? to ..... mmmmmm ..... re-ingest it, time and time again?

i'll leave you to struggle with the implications of this; i can hear the fox security police hammering on my door right now .....

meanwhile, our staunch allies, the brits, report this (guardian, april 2): "The first official recognition that the Iraq war motivated the four London suicide bombers has been made by the government in a major report into the 7 July attacks.

Despite attempts by Downing Street to play down suggestions that the conflict has made Britain a target for terrorists, the Home Office inquiry into the deadliest terror attack on British soil has conceded that the bombers were inspired by UK foreign policy, principally the decision to invade Iraq (italics mine).

The findings will prove highly embarrassing to Tony Blair, [who has remained nonplussed at how far up george bush's proloapsed rectum his tongue is ....interjection mine] who has maintained that the decision to go to war against Iraq would make Britain safer(emphasis mine). On the third anniversary of the conflict last month, the Prime Minister defended Britain's involvement in Iraq, arguing that only an interventionist stance could confront terrorism (guess who?)."

gee, the brits may drink warm beer and boil pizza, but it looks like their press knows a hand job when they see one .... why, i'll bet tony wishes he had the kind of free press that we enjoy over here ..... you know, where the reporters are free to get down on their knees, open their mouths, and swallow whatever's placed on their tongue .... it must be a kind of religious experience for them, like going to catechism: here's the body, here's the blood ..... here's the feces, here's the splooge .... and now? a nice golden shower fer ya, ta wash it all down!!.....

and i'm glad that we, at least, are safer ..... fuck the brits, fuck the spanish, fuck the french, fuck the world! ..... as long as i can drive my suv which, given the new department of energy fuel efficiency requirements, will be a long, long time, then i don't have a care in the world .....

thank god for the built-in humour! "fuel efficiency ....." "healthy forest initiative ....." "clean air initiative ...." "compassionate conservative ....."

and "i'm a uniter .... not a divider ....."

next: dr. pete changes his diapers ,,,, and his mind