It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World

i'm a dreamer, you know? a weaver, a visionary, one who sees better worlds even as he rummages through dumpsters, looking for gold .... an example? why, just a week ago, when i sat down with my coffee and started checking out "the news," here's what i read on the front page of the washington post:

The Left, Online and Outraged
Liberal Blogger Finds an Outlet and a Community
By David Finkel Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, April 15, 2006; Page A01

SHERMAN OAKS, Calif. -- In the angry life of Maryscott O'Connor, the rage begins as soon as she opens her eyes and realizes that her president is still George W. Bush. The sun has yet to rise and her family is asleep, but no matter; as soon as the realization kicks in, O'Connor, 37, is out of bed and heading toward her computer.

Out there, awaiting her building fury: the Angry Left, where O'Connor's reputation is as one of the angriest of all. "One long, sustained scream" is how she describes the writing she does for various Web logs, as she wonders what she should scream about this day.

at first i ignored it, thinking, fuck you, asshole; i need to hear about how fucking angry the "left" is and how those snippy lib'ruls just hate our president? .... and our freedoms? .... and yada yada yada yada yada? ..... gosh .... the angry fucking left .... oooooooo ..... that's really skeery, in't it? now, i know that pat robertson and jerry falwell and all those hate-mongering cocksuckers aren't angry ..... they're just plain evil psychotic fucks, so we don't have to see headlines like "evil psychotic fucks in the right want to kill gays, have slaves, and watch you die ....."

plus, i wasn't familiar with maryscott o'connor: why should i be? who's got time to read everything out there? all you have to do is read me and my column, and you know everything you'll ever need to know about republicans and anal rape ..... but i have an inquiring mind, so i went back and read finkel's article, after reading maryscott saying how generally fair and impartial he was, except for a singularly unflattering picture .....

you can read maryscott, too, if you go to myleftwing.com .....

so .... is maryscott angry? is she mad? or is this just another way to kind of put "angry" together with "woman" and tie it all up in a discount-the-liberal package, because you know what you get when you have a know-it-all-woman, or at least tom delay does, and so does chris matthews ..... you get a fucking bitch, don't you, guys? yes, those darn uppity women, those darn educated, intelligent, thoughtful, critical bitches .... why they don't just stay in the kitchen with a dick in their mouth, a foot up their ass, a bun in the oven, and their hands in the dishwater, i'll just never know ......

i wonder why being angry is so ..... so ..... so not nice ..... the 12-step movement, never the avatar of enlightenment, taught early recoverees, who were so neurologically and cognitively fragile that they couldn't handle much information or affect, that they could be "sad, mad, or glad ....." it was a starting point for rebuilding non-chemical perceptions and responses, and the plus was, being "mad" was okay .....

many of my private practice clients had .... mmmm ....... trouble with modulating affect or, for that matter, recognizing that they had it, then figuring out what it was ..... i'd tell them that if they had elevated blood pressure, elevated pulse, they were experiencing central nervous sytem arousal, and that could mean one of a number of things: they could be frightened, they could be excited, or they could be angry .... and if they were angry, maybe that was their body's way of telling them that something was happening to them that was wrong .....

that's me, dr. pete .... that old cognitive behavioralist; no "tell me about .... your muzzer" here ......

so i'll say it again, and then we can move on and play dodgeball or hopscotch ..... you: you reading this right now .... you can be angry ..... it's okay to be angry; it doesn't make you a bad person; it doesn't mean you're dick cheney, who's so apoplectic he's had more new hearts than keith richards has had blood transfusions, and whose face is contorted into abomination, whose lip is twisted into perpetual scorn and snarl and fulminating fury ..... oh, yes: you can be angry and, goddam it, you should be angry .... you should be spraying intestinal blood out your fucking nostrils ..... you should be on the phone calling your duly purchased representatives and shrieking at them, demanding that they do their jobs ..... you should be writing your newspapers demanding that they do their jobs ..... you should ..... you should .....

you should sit down in a nice comfy couch, pour yourself a nice miller lite, and watch a sitcom .....

i can't think of a better way to participate in an electoral democracy in the world's last remaining stupor power .....

speaking of mad, i was hearing about a trial in arizona, i believe, in which the district attorney is asking the death penalty for a psychotic teenager who shot and killed the policeman who pulled him over ..... oh, this kid knows right from wrong, the d.a. says, and he because he does, he deserves to die ..... he's not that psychotic .... he ran from the other cops ..... so ..... let's smear chicken blood on our faces, dance around a fire .....

and kill him .....

well, i'm just always tickled pink to be part of a society that ritualizes the killing of their kids ..... we all know how vexatious and irksome teenagers can be, and i'm thinking that not enough of them get the chair or the chamber .... plus, it's easier to kill 'em when they're young and most 'specially when they're crazed .......

kids say the darndest things!

you know, playing with hot tuna was a great training ground for working with kids who were psychotic and had room temperature iq's .....because when i worked for county mental health my patients were psychotic and retarded adolescents .... now, i know you're thinking, dr. pete? how can you tell? i mean, aren't adolescents psychotic by nature?

believe me when i tell you, there is a difference ..... but .... well .... you don't need the brains of a squirrel to be driving large fuel-inefficient vehicles on the highways and byways of our great land ..... i mean, you see those cell phone-totin' bimbos, oblivious to you and the world around them as they roll over kittens, carriages, and kiddies before snagging your parking place ..... the point is, one of my patients stole a car and led the police on a merry chase ..... he'd never driven before, so he crashed and, when he was pulled out of the wreckage of the car he said, you made me do it ..... why were you chasing me?

this tack always works for white collar criminals, by the way: it wasn't me, they made me do it .... this young man wasn't running because he "knew" that taking a car was wrong ..... he was running because he knew people were chasing him, although he didn't know why .....

i worked very hard to get this young gentleman put in a nice, sheltered, protected environment, where he would no longer be a danger to himself ..... although i don't think that, like new orleans and our latest version of ethnic cleansing, his facility has nice golf links with a view of lake ponchartrain .....

but believe me when i tell you it was a gated community .....

well ..... the point is, it's really a privilege, living in a country that holds a psychotic kid accountable and tosses him up for the high jump ..... but then, when ken lay or george bush or karl rove or colin powell or whoever says, i can't recall .... i don't remember ..... i didn't know ..... we just say, oh, i'm sure they had a lot on their minds .... why, they make millions and millions of dollars because they're knowledgeable responsible people, so it's okay for them to forget or lie about remembering or just kind of skate on the truth and anyway they're white and that includes colin powell and they're republicans and we know how demanding it is to be sociopathic and venal and greedy and corrupt .....

don't tell me that these guys don't know right from wrong ..... if knowing right from wrong makes you a candidate for a hot shot, i think these guys should take a number, right now, and get in line .....

oh .... i get it ..... they do know right from wrong ...... but why should it interfere with their being deciders?

so hey ..... cut 'em some slack, won't you?

next: dr. pete is without a clue