Dr. Pete's Believe It Or Not!

Dr. Pete's Believe It Or Not

America is not a democracy.

George Bush has not made us "safer."

George Bush is a lying sack of shit, a cretinous retard, and a murderous fuckpig.

Jesus wouldn't last a New York minute were he to return; Christians would have to kill him quick.

There is no "liberal" media.

The media has been complicit in promulgating government deception.

Every day in Republican America is a "day that will live in infamy."

Republicans and Christians advocate and practice torture.

Republicans and Christians have institutionalized war crimes and reward war criminals.

Republicans are the real "wild-eyed radicals" who have dedicated themselves to the destruction of democracy.

Republicans hate our freedoms.

Republicans don't give a shit about you, unless you're super rich.

Corporations don't give a shit about you. Period.

The "Culture of Life" is one of today's greatest causes of death.

Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.

A majority of Americans still believe it did.

A majority of Americans mistrust their government.

Americans are pretty fucking stupid.

Democrats are spineless, balless idiots.

People who steal power never relinquish it.

There is no sunset for the Patriot Act.

You are being spied on, right now.

Republicans sanction pedophilia and condone pedophiles, until the e-mails get out.

Pedophilia and "alcoholism" are two very different things. Drug and alcohol rehab doesn't work if you're a childfucker.

Republicans would like to "turn the page." And "move on."

Americans are more afraid of missing their plane than they are of "terrorists."

Americans are more afraid of arbitrary behaviour and the menace of airport personnel than they are of "terrorists."

America kidnaps people.

Americans torture people.

Americans kill people.

America is racist.

America is classist.

"Faulty intelligence" is when the vice-president of the United States mistakes a 78-year-old man for a six ounce quail.

People like that head large corporations.

People like that determine foreign policy.

People like that make lots and lots of money.

There is no shortage of faulty intelligence in "our government."

No neo-con war advocate has ever been in combat.

Today's rich are way, way richer than ever before; everyone else is taking it in the ass.

Rehab is the final refuge for scoundrels, sociopaths, and scumbags; claiming "alcoholism" waives responsibilty.

All Republicans are cognitvely and behaviourally disordered.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, titular head of the Anglican Church, issued a proclamation stating that "intelligent design" was unfounded and should not be taught in schools. Your media chose to give coverage to the putative marriage of Brad 'n' Angelina.

Today's media pedals garbage, recycles whoreshit, condescends to its readers, and feasts on the festering anus of power.

Americans are dumber'n a bag o' hammers.

Dr. Pete is performing in Pittsburgh, California, this Saturday. See the preceding entry.

Next: Dr. Pete Visits Guantanamo

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

3 Comments

Lauren says:

Now about Pulp Friction..........
I think it's time for Americans to start driving "the Chevy through the Levy" and quit talking to Mr. Census Man when he comes knowking to get that info for "future reference".

Hey, Dr. Pete, how about writing a "how to manual"?

Lauren

Submitted by Lauren on Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:58
Joey Covington says:

Yo Pete......haven't voted for years.
But when you decide to run for office...attorney general, would be just fine..............You've piqued my interest and YOU GOT MY VOTE. AMEN COME AGAIN.

Joey

Submitted by Joey Covington on Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:58
Henny Youngman says:

How do you separate the men from the boys on Capitol Hill?

With a crowbar!

Submitted by Henny Youngman on Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:58

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