Butt Plugs 'n' Ballots

i came down with stomach flu, just in time for the countdown to the midterm elections .... lord, i've felt like my ass had been take over by the republican spin and fear machine, spraying evil, vile, noxious, malodorous shit everywhere, just spatter-painting the porcelain with liquid corruption, coating the world with a noiseome thin gruel of putrescence and ..... oh, sorry 'bout that ....i'm sure you get the picture ....

what's interesting is, as loose and as liquid as it's been, there's more substance to my shit than there is to the republican spray: messcans comin' inta the yewnahted stayts to garden 'n' do the laundry and build howses fer us 'n' the homosessil adjenda which ah think calls fer burnin' the flag when they get married, just before they go on we'fare .... but in this country? that doesn't mean a fucking thing, does it? substance .....never something americans're big on .... we lahk poseurs 'n' actors 'n' image 'n' two-dimensional figgerrs 'coz they're all so much easier to understand than if they was complex or subtle or nuanced or we had to think about stuff fer ourse'ves 'n' it's much easier to be told what ta do 'n' ta think, don't ya just think?

speaking of assholes, it makes me think of the coterie of advisors that the thing in the white house has ..... first there was jeff gannon, male prostitute! no, this wasn't a skit from saturday night live, starring dan ackroyd; this was a real, honest-to-goodness hunk o' man meat-for-hire that gained access to the white house ninety-three times ..... 'n' ya know he lahked to dress up in camoflodgje and play sodjer! lahk ever'one in the whaht house duz!

then, of course, there's ted haggard, the pastor who, when not visitin' the whaht howse 'n' gahdin' young george in the lord's mysterious ways, was buyin' methamphetamine from a male prostitute .... but .... he didn't inhale, okay? and when he was gettin' fucked in the ass, he didn't inhale either .....

boy, that inhalin' kin shore gitcha in trubble cain't it?

there seems to be a .... well ..... theme? to who or what gets into the white house and who gets positions of importance: top? bottom? how do they figure this out? maybe they strip down to their calvin klein's, oil up their bodies (and these are people who understand oil real well, you know) 'n start wrasslin' one t'other .....

and this kind of excremental vision, this kind of fecal frenzy from these ass-blasters, it sure does come out in our "foreign policy," which is one of the biggest ass-fucks you've ever seen, including the unilateral invasion of iraq, which constitutes rectal rape, or using the constitution as a butt plug and the bill of rights as toilet paper .....

you know, what else would you expect from such quintessential assholes?

excuse me .... i must run to the bathroom .....

it's time for me to cast my vote ...

next: dr. pete moves to tierra del fuego

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

2 Comments

Scarlet says:

Well, which 1st World Countries do you think all the "Americans" now coming down with the runs will run too? Tierra del Fuego is a good one.......I'm sure there's a few more. They better get ready...alot of Americans will be running in with the runs!

Submitted by Scarlet on Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:38
Nick aka "Enfield" says:

Way too much info Doc! Then again, there is a distinct similarity between a voting booth and a shit house. Seems like you can spend all day in either one and still not get anything done.

Submitted by Nick aka "Enfield" on Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:38

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