Howdy, Doodee

m just about back to "the real world;" i think that my oregon trip is finally finished ... oh, it's one thing to exchange single track, with nary a soul for miles, for clogged and congested freeways; for vapid twats in oversized vehicles, nattering on their phones, as they crush the life out of unwary cyclists 'neath their insatiable wheels ... but really .... i can tell i'm back because the last scabs have finally fallen off my shins ....

but anyway ..... it was great being away from "the news;" i didn't miss a thing, i knew what "the content" was going to be, just like i can tell you what "the petraeus report" will say: it'll say we're doing really well, with ... ahem .... ha ha .... a few exceptions .... and we just need to dig down deep in our pockets and pony up some more money for "the troops;" it'll say that we're doing better than ever, that eee-rock is more secure than ever and all we need is some more time--like, say, anywhere from ten to one hundred and twenty years--to really put the ribbon on the iraqi freedom package .... oh, maybe he'll suggest sending 3,000 troops back to "the homeland;" wow .... that's a little less than two per cent, and that's sure a step down from .... ha ha .... staying the course .... and i dare say our regal opposition party, those feckless democrats, will go, gosh, we sure wanna support the troops .... why stop at 200 billion dollars and ten years when we could just stop counting the money and then we can just stay there until the offer expires, sometime around midnight of 2112?

that's the kind of news i'm glad to miss .... and here's another ..... i see our peerless and fearless leader's been over to down under, where he described his iraqi debacle as "we're kickin' ass ...." jesus .... you know, when i was working county mental health i had a lot of severely compromised patients: they suffered from fetal alcohol syndrome; mental retardation; psychosis; bipolar disorder; drug abuse; wome were hiv-positive .... good thing i spent all that time in school, you know? so i could learn how to be an effective clinician .... but .... i linked some of my clients to my local regional center, which provided services to what we now politely call .... mmmmm ..... "otherly-abled" people ....

folks, you know that i'm not much for mincing words, and i'm not going to start now: some of these people were ...... really and truly and beyond belief severely fucked up the likes of which you've never seen and honest to god i hope you never do because you really don't have a clue and you can't, you can't even begin to imaginewhat it's like because it isn't even remotely pretty ....

i mean, not even playing with hot tuna prepared me for this stuff .....

but i'm thinking, golly gee winnikins, the president of the united states is way beyond shameless and hopeless and so far transcends what god hit on some of these folks who were tucked away forever and ever in secluded locked wards and i just have to fucking wonder, doesn't anyone think it utterly bizarre that a diplomat, that an official, that a high government functionary when talking about four million refugees and a million killed and devastation and chaos and how many thousands of our soldiers dead and how many tens and tens of thousands of our soldiers minus balls and titties and legs and arms and a cerebral cortex or two along with the corruption and theft and misappropriation of money and materiel and this litany of shit has gone on for six years and he wants to drag it out more and more and more so he can "secure his legacy" and you can finish off the list however you want and he says:

we're kicking ass .....

only i'll bet it sounded more like "we kickn' ay-uss ....."

this is so appalling and so utterly embarrassing .... no .... ha ha .... beyond embarrassing ..... i mean, here's a guy who's managed to run into the ground, who's managed to fuck up, to break all the toys and every little thing his daddy bought him, from his stellar career in the national guard, with the viet nam year-o-disappear-o, to arbusto, the oil company that couldn't find oil, to the texas rangers, to the presidency of the united states .....

okay, so by fucking everything up he's consistent .... and you gotta respect that in a man ....

and i'm grateful, too .... because he could'a said, "we kissin' ass".... or "we suckin' ass ...." or "we fuckin' ass ....." which is what repugnicans seem to do a lot of in their "no urinal left behind" program .... or he could have said "we lickin' butt ...." or he could have said "watch my scratch my tiny little undescended balls and then snoffle my fingers ....." but here's what else he said [excerpted from the washington toast]:

..... "Bush said yesterday at Hawaii's Hickam Air Force Base that he "came back from Iraq encouraged by what I saw. No question there's still hard work to do, but my resolve is as strong as it's ever been."

The president added: "I believe we're doing the right thing there for the security of the country and for the peace of the world."

this booger eating moron is still fixated on "hard work," as though being a mass-murderer, for whom tying his own fucking shoes is hard work, transcends punching a time clock .... in this fucking country obsessive-compulsive disorder passes for "resolve;" in this fucking country lacking the cognitive function that god gave a goose passes for "resolve;" in this fucking country howdy doody, with his reagan-esque pompadour and jaws that moved when his strings were pulled is the role model for the american statesman ....

what's even more appalling is the traditional "blame the victim" approach, so prevalent in rape trials: let's hold the iraqis accountable for not "stepping up to the plate," for not "being democratic and free," when--the last time i looked, it was us that invaded them, us that destroyed their infrastructure, us that levelled their cities, us that devastated their hospitals and schools, and it's us that wants their oil ...

oh, those gosh-darned iraqis, why don't they just enjoy the freedoms that we've brought them?

fucking ingrates ....

but wait! there's more!

speaking of freedoms, i sure am glad i can trust our corporations to police themselves, free of pesky government regulations and bureaucratic meddling ..... hey, i hear that microwaved popcorn can kill you .... hey, how about all the lead in babies' toys? what about the carcinogens in babies' toys? hey, we don't care about carcinogens in the air at ground zero, so why should this culture of life give a shit about carcinogens in formula bottles or rattles or pacifiers? .... and speaking of howdy doody, fred thompson's going to be authentic for the repugnicans: an authentic actor, an authentic asshole .... maybe he can read lines; bush sure can't and ....

there was more, there's always a lot more, but i can't do it now .... i'd better channel some of this energy into bicycling ......

i really am going to talk about music, and i'm going to do it soon ....

next: dr. pete's show at the lark theater, september 29, 2007

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

1 Comment

Ess Kargo says:

Perhaps a sequel to Beyond Help! is needed?

BEYOND EMBARRASSING!!

Submitted by Ess Kargo on Wed, 07/16/2014 - 11:31

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