SPITZ? ER SWALLOW .....

have we had fun with elliot spitzer? boy, did that bring out the beast in people, or what? republicans and capitalist scumfucks feasted on schadenfreude, while others trotted out their little agendae, looking for a predetermined learning outcome in a moral fable .... for some it was the koan: why do the rich and powerful do stupid and dangerous things? for others it was to rehash prostitution as a perpetuation of female victimization, and on and on and on ....

i guess the rich and powerful have been doing stupid, dangerous things for a long, long time, but i needn't belabor the lack of attention given to stupid george bush and the dangers his stupid actions, inactions, and ineptitudes posed--and continue to pose--to the world ....

i think the real point is not just that vaginas are .... well .... really fascinating .....

it's that we go ga-ga over gash .....

maybe we should just say it over and over and over again, until the words loses all meaning, and we get tired of it: vagina .... vagina .... box .... muff ..... cunt .... cooze .... coochie snorter ..... fur bearing cock holster .... twat ..... snatch .... minge .... poontang .... go-go .... slobbering eye of the body .... holiest of holies .... wombat .....

wombat? where did that come from?

the antipodes, of course ....

the point is that guys need to control the pussy: horndogs want to control it and put it to use, while repressed perverted republicans want to control it so it doesn't get used .... well, at least not by anyone else ....

either way, it's a power trip for the guys, but it's like oil .... it's a commodity, and whoever has it can put it up for sale .....

you could extrapolate .... pussy rules the world, although it doesn't get paid accordingly ..... still, why is it always a "high priced prostitute?" they just smell better? because they can bathe between tricks? they're not doing it behind dumpsters? or in parked cars?

okay, i'm naive, but .... i marvel how our government will not and cannot--on philosophical and moral grounds--monitor or regulate industries that pollute our air and our water; cannot and will not monitor or regulate industries making a killing .... ha ha ..... off of pharmaceuticals (with the price of health care and health insurance these days, it's a darn good thing all the pharmaceuticals have ended up in our ground water; that's healthcare delivery at its finest!); cannot and will not regulate industries that mishandle finance; industries that sell insurance; industries that .....

but our government wants to know what's going into and out of your pussy .....

yes, george bush wants to privatize your pussy .....

don't you think it's interesting that insurance pays for viagra? but not for abortion? an abortion is way cheaper than preschool these days; my stanford undergraduate career cost a fraction of what just one of my kid's preschool costs .... okay, so they're learning far more in preschool than i did at stanford, but still .....

it's not a justifiable assumption that every sex worker was abused; some of my very good friends were sex workers, and they weren't abused .... why, they were very much like an investment banker friend: worked really hard, made a lot of money ....

and retired ....

i'm told that there have been over a million hits on what's-her-name's myspace page .... i figure she'll do well in the music industry ....

tha'ts where it really helps to be a whore ....

it's an asset in politics, too .....

but ... ha ha ..... being a hooker and a musician, it's about the same, only just a little different ..... first you do it because you like it ..... then you start doing it for your friends .... then you figure, hey, i wanna get paid for this .....

the fearless reporters of our intrepid media will now follow what's-her-name far beyond her allotted fifteen minutes of fame ..... eeeeeeeeee! is it shaved? eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ........ for that kind of money it better be ..... but ......

we're missing some really important events ..... like we don't usually .... but ..... have you been following the resignation of admiral fallon? kind of missed that, didn't you? anyone in the bay area catching "winter soldier" on kpfa? y'all can go to kpfa.org and check it out .... and how about wall street and the fed? let's see .... i'm told that the market dropped 1500 points, came back 140, so we're recovering ..... now the fed is scrambling to cover bear stearns ..... which means that the 'murkin taxpayers are going to do another massive bailout, the likes of which we haven't seen since neil bush looted the silverado savings and loan, john mccain was part of the keating five, ronald reagan was drooling on his desk, george h. w. bush had stepped from the cia to being vice-president my god it's the same old fucking cast of predatory corrupt evil fucks then as it is now what do you fucking have to do drive a fucking stake through their evil black hearts shove garlic into the chest cavities and surround them with mirrors and i can't remember how many billions of dollars that cost us to let the free market regulate itself ....

you think the iraq debacle is going to bleed us all dry? well, you're right, but when you add the mortgage and credit crises, the results of the market ..... ha ha .... ho ho .... regulating itself we're all going to be bled so dry that a vampire with anemia is going to look like george hamilton coming off his tanning bed compared to the rest of us .....

excuse me ..... someone's knocking at my door ..... i think it's either annette, from the gentleman's nanny service ....

or count dracula, with a sun lamp .....

next: dr. pete gets waxed

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

2 Comments

Cootchie mama says:

You forgot one: dynamo snackbar

That is all.

Submitted by Cootchie mama on Tue, 07/15/2014 - 16:38
Bob McPherson says:

Hello Peter,
It has been awhile. Liked the editorial. The one thing that I am surprised about is that more people are not talking about, in connection with Spitzer, is the fact that this entire situation was probably the result of illegal wire taps under the "patriot act". How is it that Senators Craig and Vitel are still in office and Spitzer had to go. It makes me wonder what else they got on him. Considering the fact that Spitzer was checking out the proposed Bush bail out of the mortgage situation in which the friends of Bush would have made millions and that he may have been the running mate of Senator Clinton - well it makes one wonder. Maybe I'm a conspiracy theorist but this entire administration has been nothing more than a conspiracy.
I also have to wonder, what does the young lady involved does that makes it worth $4,300 to have sex with her. Does she have a magic muff. The mind boggles.
Hope you and your family are wee, Bob McPherson

Submitted by Bob McPherson on Tue, 07/15/2014 - 16:38

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