Up Your Irony

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have you been taking your irony supplement? i hope so; i'm taking mine in football sized rectal suppositories; that way i can distend my sphincter and stretch my cloaca for the impending corporate plunder and penetration, plus i need massive doses to make it through the daze: i just can't be bothered to be popping pills--they just won't keep up ....

our old supreme courties, they just never fail to satisfy, do they ..... what with their ruling--like this comes as a surprise ... oh ha ha ha--that corporations now have no cap on spending in political campaigns--whereas citizens are capped at $2300--has some whiners snivelling that corporations'll be buying up our politicians but, rest assured, they won't .... corporations are much too smart: politicians have time limits on their terms, so why buy when you can rent? or lease? corporations don't want to be stuck with last year's model when they can have the newest and best; besides, all the co-opted senators and congresspersons'll just become lobbyists .... like you can tell the difference .....

meanwhile, the republicans are gloating about winning a senate seat in massachusetts .... gloat gloat gloat .... gloat gloat gloat .... they're feeling empowered ..... isn't it amazing how short our attention span is? isn't it wonderful what underfunding education can do? no one seems to remember that all of the problems we have to contend with--banking scandals and bailouts; bankrupting the economy and the recession; massive unemployment; dare i mention illegal immoral unilateral invasions of sovereign nations that posed us no threat whatsoever (IIUIOSNTPUNTW) along with their concommitant cost that somehow no republican ever mentions when they're shrilling about government spending or fecal responsibility, as though your tax dollars are fine for killing brown people but can't be used for educating our children or keeping our children healthy or making sure that no american is starving in what was once touted as the wealthiest most powerful nation on the face of the earth but now it seems to be some kind of fucking festering oozing chancre on the earth's face will someone pop that cocksucker please?--are the result of eight years of a republican administration; all of our problems are the result of failed policies, of corrupt practices, and of incompetent people--many of whom should be on trail for war crimes and crimes against humanity ....

let me repeat that in case it just, in all its subtlety, just slipped by you: all of the problems we are facing are the result of eight years of a republican administration; all of our problems are the result of failed policies, of corrupt practices, and of incompetent people--many of whom should be on trail for war crimes and crimes against humanity .... and these were perpetrated on us by republicans in a republican administration with the concensus of democrats so don't fucking talk to me about buy-partisanship when our partisanship was bought and sold and so were you, you poor fucker, you .....

you'd think that'd be worth mentioning, wouldn't you .... don't you think we should be reminded that the problems we contend with, from jobs to genocide, are the result of failed republican policies, programs, theories, ideas, greed, corruption, ineptitude, and incompetence ..... why is it that no one talks about this? eight years, for christ fucking sake: eight fucking years when we watched the american character--never the most stalwart and robust--slide down a greasy poop chute into an orwellian cesspool of doublespeak, doublethink, and quadrupally fucked, where we devolved into a fourth rate third world country incorporating torture into its judicial system even while making it a cornerstone of foreign policy .... why is it that we heard so much about john edwards' hairdo and how expensive it was ..... mmmmm ...... what's the cost ratio a haircut when it's compared to some infantile regressed sociopathic puerile fantasy freak getting into a codpiece packed flight suit and parading around on the deck of a fucking aircraft carrier, posturing before our "fighting men and women ...." jesus, the "media" was lining up to suck cock then and they're doing it once more, nattering about how scott brown "looks like a real american ....." oh, here we go again, you racist fucks: real american = rich white man .......

not .......

thank god we've still got some schools that we can now cut funding to so that we can be fiscally responsible, which means funnelling every penny we have to war profiteers; thank god we've got some hospitals left--although we certainly don't provide health care to our citizens because .... ha ha .... get this .... that would be unamerican, like healthy people are unamerican because if they're healthy they can't go on a diet a week and they wouldn't subsidize the pharmaceutical industry to the degree they do which is believe you me plenty and of course if americans were educated they'd remember that our current crop of problems is due to the failed policies of republican administrations let me repeat that in case you missed it passing right by you whizzo! bango! ..... our current crop of problems is due to the failed policies of republican administrations but i was saying, thank god we've still got some hospitals we can close so inner city children can't see doctors because an educated population would be non-complaint an ignorant diseased corpulent bovine delusional hysterical frightened population is our greatest natural resource, an renewable source of energy, something that can perpetually be exploited by corporations who claim they "need to grow" to be vital i always thought that perpetual growth was another name for cancer which of course kills its host corporations are close to doing that here aren't they poisoning the food the air the water but they need stupid people to plunder remember the business of america is business and ....

speaking of amoral duplicitious fucks--and we were--are you going to listen to our leader's "state of the union" speech tonight? i don't have to; so much of it has already been "disseminated to the media" and "dispersed to the sheeple" and "spread like manure over the barren fields of our minds;" it's like the systematic desensitization i used to do with clients, preparing them for a shock, the controlled and gradual anticipatory gearing up for events or sitatuations that'd otherwise result in decompensatory anxiety and confusion ..... i figure we're told, in dribs and drabs, what the content of the speech is so that when it's actually given the speaker won't be drowned out by the seething multitudes shrieking "FUCK YOU! WE WANT OURS AND WE WANT IT NOW!" so we're being told in advance that there will be no money for social programs: no child care, no day care, no prenatal care; no health care, no geriatric care, no scholastic care, no nothing if you're a human being but nellie bar the door! for the flood of dollars to the "defense industry" which, to date, is still stumped by individuals who wear shoes .... or underwear .....

the rain's stopped; i think i'm going to ride my bike to pandora ....

next: dr. pete gets cortisone injections for cerebral inflammation .....

PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.

1 Comment

Robert McPherson says:

Hello Peter,
You are so right. Let me start by saying that I was a big fan of Obama and held several fund raisers in my home for his election. I thought we would get a new direction free from the felonies, frivolities and falsehoods of the Bush administration.
It seems to me that right off the bat he fucked up by not going after the people in the Bush administration who were law breakers. He wanted to be nice and nonpartisan. Then, after months of reaching across the isle, he did react to the republican policy of being the party of no. No matter what he did or what concession he gave it was still no. He wanted to be nice. He continues to try to work with the assholes across the isle. Do you know how LBJ got all that great civil rights legislation as well as medicare passed. He was a prick. He let the congress know that if they didn't go along he would fuck with anyone not on board. It worked.
In less than two hours I am going to watch the State of the Union Speech. I have the bottle of Wild Turkey ready becasue I think I'm going to need it. This month I became 58. I also saw the Supreme Court give away what was left of our democracy. I saw one of the most liberal states give away Ted Kennedy's seat to a Republican light weight and now I am about to see a Democratic president destroy social programs. Should the money come from the rich and the corpoate world, the fucks who caused the mess - YES. Should poor and sick have to suffer for the folly of the top fucks - NO.
I will say that Obama probably did prevent the second great depression but unless he grows a set of balls his administration, which will last only three more years, will be considered a failure.

Submitted by Robert McPherson on Tue, 07/15/2014 - 16:08

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