Cat Sand

we had fun with dick and jan last entry, didn't we? we had entire paragraphs, full of nicely typed words which, when read, went something like this:

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blarrrggghhhhhh ..........

we have more of the same this week ..... blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blarrrrrggggghghghghghgghh ......

we really have, as a country, regressed; i guess it's the only way we can understand what that thing in the white house is saying, which usually goes something like this: blah blah ..... blah blah blah ..... blah ..... blah blah ..... blah blah ...... blah blah ....... blah ..... blah blah bla-a-a-a-a-a-h bleh ......

he's one of the few who can actually mispronounce "blah ....." but talking is hard work when you're a puppet, and someone else is pulling the strings .....

apropos regression, we sure love our teens, don't we? we don't give much of a shit about our children, or their schools, neither do we give a scabrous rat's ass about young men, whose sole function now is to flip burgers or fill body bags in america's aspirations to empire, but we love "teen" girls ..... they do lots of neat things: they go missing .... or they get murdered .... or they go missing and get murdered .... or they get murdered and go missing ..... and, in america's booming porn industry, being a "teen" girl lasts sometimes up 'till you're in your mid-40s, an interesting commentary on our prurient concern with teen twats .....

but ... i digress .....

i was thinking about how teenagers are arbiters of taste, predictors of trends and, in our neotenous culture, role models ..... and i'm not talkin' just about flabby middle aged white guys who wear caps with the bill turned backwards, who wear baggy shorts, who generally act like immature assholes because .... well .... because that's what they are .....

no, i was talking about teen girls .... why, just last week the secret service hauled a young girl out of her classroom and scared the shit out of her for half an hour because she'd written "kill bush" in some web site (no wonder the terrorists hate our freedoms .... our kids have cell phones and web sites!) ..... and then another young girl, who idolized dick cheney, got major coverage .....

dick cheney, rock star!

hey, dick ..... got any good blow?

what conclusions can a sensible person draw from these incidents, other than intelligence and taste are distributed unevenly amongst the young, as they are in our political landscape .....

speaking of blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, i'm bemused at that thing in the white house flip-flopping and cutting and running from that time-honored phrase, "cut and run ...." he's taking great pains to say blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah which, loosely translated means, "i never said that and, if i did, i didn't quite mean it the way it's been meant to mean since its inception; as commander in .... as .... as ..... as someone who works uuuunnnnhhhh ..... hard .....mah job is to ..... it's ..... i ..... well .... you ..... i wanna he'p langwidge git some new meanin's 'cause the old ones is .... uuuuuhhhhhh ..... they old ...... 'n' this is the party of .... unnnnnhhhhh .... young ideers ....."

the terrorists hate our freedoms .... they are slack-jawed with amazement and disb'lief 'n' feer when they contemplate the freedoms taken with the english language ......

as, for that matter, am i .... i just fucking can't believe these shameless cocksuckers .....

well .....

there are other things i dis'blief ..... aaahh-nuld has now become "the green governor" and, single-handed, he's gonna save the envarhnment ....

this is the guy that met with ken lay and the other enron folks just before enron started playing reddy kilowatt with california ..... won't someone ask him about those meetings? please?

oh .... right .... it'd take a reporter to do that .... a journalist .....

how about the front runners for democratic presidential candidacy? yes, true to form democrats are, with the help of the republican party and the intrepid press, fielding people with whom american voters have traditionally resonated: a woman and a .... a ..... very bright articulate nicely dressed man with a lovely wife and children .... and a great sun tan .....

but shit .... they could run kermit the frog or big bird, and it would hardly matter ..... why, now that we've got diebold's computerized voting machines, all our voting needs'll be taken care of, you betcha!

i just disbeliefs the irony of a country that clings to the pretense of being an electoral democracy, that now demands picture identifcation of would-be voters to "prevent voter fraud," yet scratches its collective head and walks on when high tech voting machines deliver 480% of the votes cast to the republican candidate .....

oh .... must be the new math .....

we all like kittens, don't we? they're cute, they're fluffy, they hiss and spit and mew and roll around .... it's really precious when they all reach that threshold age of learning, where they puff themselves up, hiss hiss hiss, and dance sideways with their tails exploded, little pink mouths wide .... they're pretending they're big cats; they're playing make believe; they're acting tough, but .... they're still kittens ....

kind of like our press right now .... kind of like so many aspiring candidates ..... hey, the republican machine seems to be ..... mmmm .... a little weak ..... we can go off message and pretend we're big boys .... we can go mew mew mew hiss hiss hiss puff puff puff and dance sideways and say, 'iraq doesn't seem to be going well ....." but we won't say anything about abuse of power, or presidential deceptions, or the venality and corruption of the ruling class, or ......

how fucking long it took us all to grow a miniscule set of balls .... which are destined for the vet's chopping block pretty darn soon ....

excuse me .... the stench of a sodden litter box, in which the little kittens play, is overwhelming .... i must go change the cat box .... won't you help me?

next: dr. pete and the medicinal catnip