March 2006

Washington ..... The White House announced today that President Bush would visit Louisiana to inspect areas damaged by Hurricane Katrina. "We feel that it's safe for him to go there," a White House spokesperson said, on condition of anonymity; "The water's gone down, the skies are clear, and all the darkies are gone."

Bush said that he was sorry to have missed this year's Mardi Gras. "I done a lotta things that ..... well .... I know I been there .... I think it was a lotta fun ..... if I could only remember."

Washington, D.C. Reports from Iraq of numerous bodies, found tied, gagged, strangled; shot, mutilated, and dumped in sewers, where they'll pollute an already hard-pressed water supply; left in trucks by the roadside, left on street corners, left hanging from lampposts that no longer get electricity; dumped off bridges, dumped off overpasses, and stacked like cordwood outside the Green Zone, are grossly exaggerated by a liberal media prone to hysteria and sensationalism, a White House spokesperson said, on condition of anonymity.

this is from the washington post; i couldn't even begin to make up shit like this:

"Speaking at a flu summit meeting in Wyoming Friday, Mike Leavitt, the president's health and human services secretary, said that Americans can't expect the federal government to take care of them if a pandemic strikes. His advice: Stockpile food in your bedroom.

i wrote this column before i read paul krugman today (march 27, 2006) ..... while i prefer not to let facts interfere with my preconceptions, i must defer to mr. krugman's impeccable politics and knowledge, this time regarding illegal immigration and its impact on keeping wages low, in that employers would rather pay low wages with no benefits, and illegals will tolerate that ..... still, here's my column .... it's not just hystrionics .... it's putting passion back into the body politic .......