Editorials

No Dollar Left Behind

Mar 11, 2006 - Comments: 2

i think you'll like this ..... here's the way the washington post paraphrases "on conditions of anonymity ...." ready? let's go: "A White House official, speaking not for attribution in order to discuss political strategy ......" you can fill in the rest: opened his/her mouth while a torrent of effluvium poured forth; amazed the fourth estate with the copious amount of shit that issued from his/her gob; smiled blandly while his/her pie hole became a superfund site ......

The Eponymous Anonymous

Mar 08, 2006 - Comments: 0

Washington, D.C. Reports from Iraq of numerous bodies, found tied, gagged, strangled; shot, mutilated, and dumped in sewers, where they'll pollute an already hard-pressed water supply; left in trucks by the roadside, left on street corners, left hanging from lampposts that no longer get electricity; dumped off bridges, dumped off overpasses, and stacked like cordwood outside the Green Zone, are grossly exaggerated by a liberal media prone to hysteria and sensationalism, a White House spokesperson said, on condition of anonymity.

Late 'n Breakin'

Mar 07, 2006 - Comments: 1

March 07,2006 | WASHINGTON -- Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld on Tuesday rejected suggestions Iraq is engulfed in a civil war and claimed media reports have exaggerated the violence since an attack on a a revered Shiite mosque.

"I do not believe they are in a civil war today," Rumsfeld told reporters at the Pentagon. "What they're doing is having their own Mardi Gras-style celebration. They just do it a little different than those darkies down in New Orleans. The ones that are still there, that is."

Late 'n' Breakin' Wind

Mar 06, 2006 - Comments: 0

Washington ..... The White House announced today that President Bush would visit Louisiana to inspect areas damaged by Hurricane Katrina. "We feel that it's safe for him to go there," a White House spokesperson said, on condition of anonymity; "The water's gone down, the skies are clear, and all the darkies are gone."

Bush said that he was sorry to have missed this year's Mardi Gras. "I done a lotta things that ..... well .... I know I been there .... I think it was a lotta fun ..... if I could only remember."

Just Say No

Mar 04, 2006 - Comments: 1

Sacramento, CA ...... Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced today that California would be reducing the quantity of drugs given to death row inmates in their lethal injection.

"Ve're a Christian nation," the governor said; "and drugs are bad for you. Look vat happened to me; see dese teeth?" He added: "Ve don't vant dem to get hurt, and ve don't vant dem to get hooked."

Truth and Consequences

Mar 03, 2006 - Comments: 0

it's axiomatic that people need to organize their experiences, observations, and feelings into a structure and framework that provides them with a sense of meaning as they survey the chaos that really constitutes the world ....

oh .... you don't think it's chaotic? perhaps if you were to visit iraq, or afghanistan, you might reconsider?

The Rule of Law

Feb 24, 2006 - Comments: 0

i haven't been following the olympics, so i don't know if there's any cause for great rejoicing ..... i don't have a tv, remember? my mother-in-law just asked me if i knew what had happened today, and i replied that i did: someone won, someone lost, and there was someone who came in, in between ....

He's Back .... And He's Pissed Off!

Feb 23, 2006 - Comments: 0

i figured that i'd not write for a while because i'd be incapacitated after surgery .... such is not the case; surgery went well and, while i'm discomfited by the thought of another four weeks with my left arm strapped to my side, i'm mobile from the elbow down .... that certainly limits guitar playing, but i'm pleased at how well it went and how well i feel .....

Flipping the Bird

Feb 17, 2006 - Comments: 0

Missoula, Montana ..... Vice-President Lon Cheney was awarded a standing ovation by his legislative peers as he embarked on a triumphal tour in the aftermath of his quail shooting debacle. "it can happen to anyone, dang it," said Skeeter Thorpe, an associate of Cheney's and a some-time hunting partner. "It's just an honest mistake and Ah know his intaynshuns're good, so ..... we gonna give'm the ears and a tail ..... shore, it warn't a clean kill, but the man's not well, what with his heart 'n' all, 'n' all the medicayshun he gotta take for it.

Uncle Sam Wants You ...... Bitch .....

Feb 12, 2006 - Comments: 2

i thought that i'd not write for a while, but robin and i just returned from an out-of-town jaunt; that means that i catch up on all the wonderful things that have happened in my absence, and there were so many wonderful things happening in this great land of ours that, well ..... i just couldn't leave well enough alone .... not that i'll be saying anything i haven't said before, or that you haven't heard me say before, but ..... i'm a one-trick pony, even though i said that i'm a bicyclist, not a horse person .....

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